The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
02/11/11
How funny! I enjoyed this. Thank you for sharing.
02/11/11
I felt like I was right there, you made your story come alive! Beautiful!
This was a great story. The characters were perfect. You did a great job of showing what they were like. I chuckled at the mental picture of the lady and the was hat.

Tiny red ink-when using Daddy or Mother capitalize it when it's being used as a name, but if you put my, the, her etc in front of it then it should be in lowercase.

You did a divine job with this story. I could feel the sadness then the relief of the MC. This was one of my favorite reads.
Lovely fun read. Your MC was very good and the story ended on a high note.
The only small niggle I have is, I am left wondering why Doris is the favoured one?
Was it only because she was the youngest?
Well done on an entertaining read.
Oh this was the most enjoyable read. You made this come alive. I loved the hat drenching scene, but my favorite was the fathers laughter.
02/14/11
Good job with a wonderful story. Thanks for sharing.
I enjoyed your article, but feel there was a little too much detail. I loved it when her Daddy laughed - that made her day I'm sure.

Jeanette Oestermyer
02/15/11
clever. I must say i thought it was a little boy to start with and then when you gave her name in the second paragraph i was confused for a moment. he hat lady was vividly described.i wondered why the dad waited 10 miutes before soaking her. I like the way you described him as never smiling and you end on the shared moment of dad and child laughing together!
not sure how well it fits with era but a lovely story nethertheless
Congratulations for placing 10th in level two! Way to go Becky!
I LOVE this Becky-Boo! Loved the simplicity and pace. I too, felt as though I was right inside the story as a spectator. Would really enjoy a continuation of this story with such a great "old time" feel. I have warm fuzzies at hearing that laugh that meant so much to your MC.
Haha, fun story! I've seen some pretty crazy hats and always funny when people get what's coming to them in a harmless way.