Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Huh? (01/21/10)
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TITLE: My New Four Letter Word | Previous Challenge Entry
By AnneRene' Capp
01/27/10 -
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“Ah-huh, I knew it!” This supports my conviction throughout the years that this small seemingly harmless little word, does in fact, portray aloofness, condescension and disrespect. Therefore, I have concluded that Huh? should be added to that self-indulgent, rebellious, and mutinous tabooed list of four letter words!
“Huh?” was my daughter’s ENTIRE ENGLISH VOCABULARY between the ages of twelve and sixteen.
“By the way, Kim, would you please clean up your bedroom before leaving for Lauren’s house?” Although gently spoken, her “Huh?” piercingly reflected her doubt that I could actually be serious!
“Hi sweetie, how was your day at school?” With an obvious hint of now questioning my sanity, she peered at me, while tilting that precious little head of hers and replied inquisitively, “HUH?”
“Kim, honey, please be sure to make your bed before going off to school?” Now she depicted her “HUH?” with an unmistakable repulsion toward me for being her mother!
“Kim, how come you left your breakfast dishes on the counter without rinsing them and putting them into the dishwasher?” To my surprise, her “HUH?” now included a gist of innocent astonishment. With her nose scrunched up and her mouth gaping, (which at the time resembled the Grand Canyon to me) she replied with a long, drawn out “Huh?”
Lastly, there is my husband, who uses “Huh?” as a technique of accountability avoidance!
“Honey, would you please take out the garbage, this is the third time I have asked you?” While continuing his steadfast trance at the television, his “Huh?” sounds like an echo in slow motion that originated from another dimension!
Yes, when I saw this week’s topic, my stomach steadily commenced withering into a single mass of knots as I began reliving all the reasons I could no longer tolerate this run of the mill idiom!
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I'd recommend that you eliminate the material at the beginning and the end that references the topic or the assignment and just tell your story. (And by eliminating those, you'll have more words to develop your characters, show some action, etc.)
Lots of potential here.