The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
06/12/09
I read this because of the title, but you kept my interest until the end. Your detailed writing was so wonderful and I enjoyed reading this story very much.
06/12/09
I have delighted so much in the story you've written! Just like the many Readers of missionary stories and stories of Christians of old I read to my children!

Thank you.
06/12/09
I could feel and see this whole slice of life--great writing and I loved this story.
06/14/09
A great title and a VERY good hook.
I found the last line sudden and disjointed. I think I'd have ended with the mother pounding corn.
You obviously have some insider knowledge of Malawi. The descriptions of the children growing up together, hungry, all lying on one mat... very homely, very touching, very realistic.

06/15/09
In the last week we have treated our Mozambican guards to mexican enchilladas and to pizza. I know that his staple is the stiff maize porridge that everyone round here eats twice a day, but he never ever refuses what we offer him. I think that some days he's quite disappointed when all we're having is rice and beans!
Your excellent details allowed me to see this different land clearly. Well done.
06/15/09
This was so atmospheric, and so rich with authenticity. Wow, so very good. Loved it...
06/16/09
The imagery here is exceptional. I especially liked how your mc tried to get up in the morning without waking the others. The mc's perspective of the "foreign missionaries" was great.
An interesting story with some great descriptions and good characters. I liked it and enjoyed reading this piece. Great job!
06/17/09
amnesia of excitement? What a picture that paints in my head!

I enjoyed the pace of this piece.
06/25/09
What a fascinating perspective! I loved how you fleshed it out with living, breathing details. "Amnesia of excitement" was my favorite line, too.