The Official Writing Challenge
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05/17/09
Oh wow. This almost sounds like it could be a "prequel" of sorts to the movie I am Legend.

I felt the ending was rather abrupt.

Great "outside of the box" idea!
05/20/09
The story held my interest and made me think. Very good storytelling.
Mona
05/20/09
Raw and dark - I like! Maybe a description of Dorian, something to make the reader feel more in his skin, would have engaged a tad more. Great storyline, smells like more...?
05/20/09
This makes me want to read more...what came before, what comes after.

There are a few typos and a couple of awkward sentences that I stumbled through. Perhaps a second read by someone would catch some of those.

I usually don't personally like these darker stories, but this had me very interested. Good job.
05/20/09
Dark, yes, but thoughtful and intriguing. I enjoy these sort of philosophical debates and I was pulled into this story immediately. Great job.
Excellent story! I was totally engaged. I love the way you ended it - leaving us wondering will he or won't he? I hope he will.
05/21/09
Nicely done. Kept expecting Milla Jovovich's Alice to walk round the corner at any point.
I like the way you weave some Christian ethics into the post-apocalyptic genre. It's good that you don't offer easy answers but rather the tension of living in a twice-fallen world.
My one criticism is that we don't get to see into Dorian's soul. Hence the reader has no idea whether he will turn south and help the community or push off on his own. As things stand there's simply not enough information to make a decision and hence this robs the ending of some of its force. But, hey, I think you can tell that I liked your entry!