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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "Actions Speak Louder than Words" (without using the actual phrase). (02/21/08)
Dave knelt down in front of his son, Kevin. Son I know you are still young but what you did was wrong, people are watching and if we say we love Jesus, and then do something that say’s different we are lying. But daddy, I only punched the guy in the nose, is that so wrong? Yes son, because I heard you say at church last night that you would never, never hit somebody, if they were being mean to you, so you did two wrongs, you fought and you lied. What if one of your friends who is not a Christian heard what you said, then saw what you did? Do you think they would believe that you were a true Christian? No daddy I don’t think they would, I am sorry and I will try to do better. That is all I can ask of you son. A few days later Dave took Kevin to his office with him, so he could finish up some paper work. Doug a guy Dave absolutely despised, came in a few minutes later, and started harassing Dave. Dave ignored it for about ten minutes until he finally said, look Doug my boy is here could you please not say such things about me? Doug shot back well he is not in here is he, and I will say whatever I please and there is not one thing you can do about it is there? Dave had taken all he could take, he got up and faced Doug and punched him right in the nose. At that moment Kevin walked in, Daddy?????????
What we say and what we do should always match each other.
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This article has been read 676 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Jacquelyn Horne
02/28/08
This is a very good example. It would be a better piece if it were separated into more paragraphs and had quote marks around the spoken words. But this is a very good start and right on topic.
c clemons
02/29/08
Good start, this might be your first attempt at writing and therefore the mechanics haven't been learned quite yet. The good news is we all started somewhere. Read thru some of other entries and observed the spacing, quotations and punctuation that is used. God bless and keep writing.
Joanne Sher 
03/01/08
You made your point well. Great example for all of us!

You have some good advice above - if you need help with it, feel free to send me a private message and I will gladly help you out.

Keep writing!
Jan Ackerson
03/02/08
Excellent illustration of the topic. You've been given good advice above; work at those things and your writing will vastly improve.
Marilyn Schnepp 
03/02/08
Perfect story for the Topic, and has a good moral. Enjoyed the story line immensely.

Critique: Needs to be edited with paragraphing, quotations around the dialogue, and it would be excellent. Keep at it...