Previous Challenge Entry
Topic: Directions (02/02/04)
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TITLE: Final Directions By Mamie Zook 02/05/04 |
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As I held the bottles in my hand, I read the directions. 'Give one tablet by mouth once daily until gone', 'Give one tablet every 12 hours (twice daily) until gone'. The only problem with the directions is that the twice daily pill had to be raised to three times daily or else the fluid will start to build up around his heart and he coughs.
He has been on the pills faithfully for many months now. My life revolves around making sure he gets them like they are prescribed. I see the consequences if I deviate from the directions one bit. I can not take the chance. I feel as if his life is in my hands and I guess in a way it is until God decides it is time for him to go.
It is ironic how the words 'until gone' are on the bottles. We think in terms of until the medication is finished. If we really think about the metaphor it can mean 'until he passes'… All my life, I have never thought of this until now but when you have someone in your life that is very important to you, it takes on a whole new meaning.
He is having at least one heart attack a day when I am with him. He sometimes cries with pain but other times it is as if he is in slow motion and falls down. People have told me to put him out of his misery. I tell them that I am NOT GOD and I can not make the decision that it is time for him to go. I feel that way now but may have to change my thinking at some point in time. I just don't know.
What I do know for sure is that we all have an appointed time and I know his is coming sooner than I would like for it to. I just don't want to give him up because he has been my companion for many years. He is like one of the family. If you have not guessed by now, I will tell you. He is my dog "Dewey"…