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Topic: Blessed (11/29/04)
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TITLE: Blessed or Burdened? By Lynn Trogdon 12/05/04 |
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On Thanksgiving Day 22 years ago my first child was born, a tiny baby girl, 4 weeks premature. Being a first-time mother of 24, I didn’t realize it was unusual when she was whisked away after only a few minutes of coddling my baby. I thought she was perfect! The rest of the day, however, was less than perfect.
After his customary examination, the pediatrician came by to give me his report. From the minute he entered the room, it was obvious he was an uncomfortable, stressed man. He was “98%” sure that my little girl had Down syndrome. Being pretty sheltered from such things at home, I could only ask, “What’s that?” He described the condition, the tests that would be done, and ventured his opinion that I should accept that my child would one day live in an institution. I was obviously shocked and found myself wondering what kind of baby I would see when she was brought to me again. And yet, I remember most vividly the doctor’s terse response to another frantic mother, with a baby running a simple fever, who continuously paged him throughout our conversation. I truly felt sorry for this man! What a terrible job.
Day by day, this little girl grew into a remarkable young lady. It was a ride with many bumps, mountains climbed and tears shed. But along with every hurt, there came growth and slow success. It was a time of learning much patience and the value of every person, regardless of their level of functioning. She was extremely slow, as is typical with Down syndrome, in her development and education. But she was always a social butterfly. Even on all her psychological tests, her social skills were always her highest scores. To this day, she loves to direct the social lives of all who share her world, if given the opportunity.
Just this summer we celebrated my daughter’s high school graduation. She began a summer internship working with some very welcoming people, and also with some who were unsure and uncomfortable with the idea of a mentally handicapped person working in their department. Her father was recently greeted by one of these people with a big hug and thank you. This coworker said the ½ hour spent every morning with our daughter was the best part of her day. Her direct supervisor has repeatedly said that she is “a ray of sunshine” when she comes into the office. They have recently made a temporary 10-week internship a permanent part-time job.
The lessons learned have been great; not only by mothering a child with special needs, but also by watching how she embraces all around her, and shares a ray of light and overflowing love with them all. Raising my daughter certainly seemed a burden at times, but in looking back I can only say I have been truly blessed with a greater understanding and acceptance of all. And the powerful love of my little girl who can light up a room with a smile is an awesome sight!