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Topic: Rejection (11/15/04)
TITLE: Rejection By Marjorie Arrowood 11/18/04 |
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In my mind's eye, there before me, sits Tim. My Tim. He is leaning forward, elbows on knees. Sandwiched in both his hands is one hand of the girl who has obviously replaced me. Her other hand provides animation to her talk and laughter. His eyes are riveted on her with an intimacy I thought reserved for me. Worst of all, I recognize her. Her reputation on campus is well known. How could Tim, always such a gentleman, turn his back on me for her?
It was the greatest shock of my young and sheltered life.
Three days had passed since he last called. At the time I'd thought he seemed a little distant, like something undefined was missing. Two days without a single phone call concerned me and this very morning as my mind replayed our last phone conversation, what had been missing dawned on me. Absolutely no mention of plans. Not even for the customary weekday get-togethers on campus to study in the library or grab a Coke between classes at the Union.
Finally my lead legs allowed me to slink away, oblivious to all else in the world. I prayed for a miracle, but God was silent. Eventually anger replaced the hurt and I knew covert rejection was the worst kind.
It has been years since I last thought about all that. I'm now married to a guy who shares my desire to glorify God. We also share five kids, three grandkids (with a fourth on the way) and a bull mastiff who thinks he's a baby. I have no idea what became of Tim, which proves to me the wisdom of Garth Brooks really isn't as trite as it seems. Indeed, sometimes God's greatest gifts come through unanswered prayers.
Last spring I saw Mel Gibson's classic, The Passion of the Christ. I wonder if the human side of Jesus didn't feel His Father's covert rejection to be the very worst of all the rejection he faced. How horrible to beg for a change of plans, accept the silence, and later scream, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" His human side must have wondered how the only truly perfect gentleman, his holy father, could love the disreputable world enough to turn his back on his son for it.
I think God allows us to sufer life's rejections so we can have a minute comprehension into the mystery of his amazing grace.