The Official Writing Challenge
BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN
INSTRUCTIONS
how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level
ENTRIES
submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.


TRUST JESUS TODAY

  • Share
  • how it works
  • Submit
Previous Challenge Entry
Topic: TEARS - (as in crying) (10/04/04)
TITLE: tears of insecurity
By thea english
10/05/04
 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 SEND ARTICLE TO A FRIEND
Just recently, I shed a lot of tears, but it wasn’t because I was physically hurt. I had flashbacks from the emotional pain from the childhood bullies in school. I cried because I was so hard on myself and I felt I couldn’t measure up to anyone’s standards, not my family’s, friends’ or sometimes God’s. I walked around feeling like the worst believer because I still couldn’t see myself the way God sees me. I even called myself just another person or even worse, some junk that just existed.. I struggle with severe shyness and even when I do talk to others, I walk on eggshells hoping I won’t mess up or lose my friends. Most of my tears come from the insecurities that haunt me today, even as I just celebrated my 23rd birthday. I met a nice male friend about a month and a half ago and I feel I don’t deserve him because of my awkwardness. We talk occasionally on the phone and I just try to be a good listener since he works long hours on the bus at night. He visited me for my birthday and the birthday card I got had a lot of sentiment behind it. I’m continually being blessed by God but I don’t feel I should get them and that’s why the tears strolled down my face. On some days the tears are more frequent than others but I know God is still molding me into His image. It’s just that I get discouraged when I don’t progress fast enough. I’ve had 23 years of low self-worth and it looks like the tears will never dry up. I have good qualities about myself but I never discuss them because I’m too focused on what I’m doing wrong.



But even with my tears of insecurity, I know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel because I’m reminded of God’s love for me. If one day my family and friends give up on me, as painful as that would be, I realize that His grace will abound even in the midst of my failures. I want to be able to freely receive His blessings without feeling inferior or undeserving. With His help and timing, my tears will turn to smiles.