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Previous Challenge Entry
Topic: Reward (09/27/04)
TITLE: Greatest Reward
By Elizabeth Dunbar
10/01/04
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I will always remember the looks on their faces, my closest friends, when I told them. Three As, two Bs. They continued to potter around the kitchen, putting pots away and taking out condiments for dinner. The silence was overpowering. They did not look at me and they did not speak a word but I knew . . .not good enough.

For me grades remind me of branding. Marks that sear into my flesh to later scream at passers-by: “this is how much this girl is worth”. Neurotic, I know. But we buy into it. We frame papers in our offices to command respect from our clients and buy luxurious items for our homes to proclaim our standing in society. These are the rewards of our work, our commitment and dedication to ourselves, that is our studies, our jobs, and our status. Yet, at some point it all seems to crumble and fall away – when the reward just isn’t good enough.

I’ve cried too many tears because the cherry on the cake is not what I wanted or the icing I took so much trouble over just wouldn’t set. I had not realised what a slave I had become to the ‘always come first’ mentality of this world and the hours spent trapped striving for the mysterious, elusive, worldly prize.

But then, and not for the first time, I fell in love with the Lord. I thrashed and cried my way through life with a ball of stress like a rock in my stomach, and then, one day, ran blindly into Him and He held me and said: “OK, everything is OK”. Who says God does not pursue us? Even if you fill your mind and allow it to witter on with all the triviality of the day, the God I know will break in and let you know you’re being foolish. Often we have a problem with who we are and we need the affirmation, the worldly rituals of success to feel we belong and have worth. But God looks at us and says: “Do not be afraid, I am your shield, your exceedingly great reward.”(Gen 15:1). Remember that.

I will always remember the look on their faces but now I see another . . .one who is smiling and one who is stretching out His arms . . .