Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Hear / Here (01/26/23)
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TITLE: Living Water | Previous Challenge Entry
By Marilyn Meiners
01/31/23 -
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“Goodness sake, Jotham, I’m right here. What do you want?”
“We’re out of water. When are you going to get some?”
Athaliah sighed. “That man. He does nothing around this house. Why can’t he go get us some water,” she whispered to herself.
“I’ll go at noon. You know I always go at noon. Then I can avoid all the women and their wagging tongues. You know how these Samaritan women like to gossip,” said Athaliah.
At noon, Athaliah picked up her two water jars and headed to Jacob’s well, outside the village. It was a ten minute walk to the well, but on a hot day like today, it was unbearable. “I wish I could go early in the morning like all the other women do. It is much cooler then. But no, I have to go at noon,” she muttered to herself.
As she trudged along toward the well she noticed a figure sitting beside it. “Oh great,” she thought. “A stranger. Well, I need the water so I’ll quickly get some then leave before they can engage in a conversation with me.”
Drawing closer to the well she noticed the figure was a man.
A man! And not just any man, but a Jewish man. Jews hated Samaritans, which she was. They especially had a dislike toward women.
Ignoring the stranger, Athaliah began drawing water, then he spoke to her. “Would you give me a drink?”
“Huh? You want a drink from me? You know I’m a Samaritan. Why would you ask me for a drink?”
“Woman, if you only knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink’ you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”
What was he saying? Did she hear him right?
“I can’t believe what I am hearing,” thought Athaliah. “He thinks there is such a thing as living water. Obviously he has been in the sun too long and may be on the verge of heat-stroke.”
“Sir, you have nothing to draw water with, and the well is deep, where do you get that living water?” Athaliah asked.
She offered him some water, but again he told her he could give her living water. Intrigued, she asked more questions.
He said, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
Athaliah looked at him dumbfounded. “What was he saying,” she mused. “Water that can give me eternal life? I’ll never thirst again! My life is such a mess I could use some of this water right now.”
With tears in her eyes she looked at him and said, ,”Sir, give me this water so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water.”
Then Jesus said something outrageous to her. “Go get your husband.”
What? Why is he asking me this. “I have no husband,” she whispered.
“You are right when you say you have no husband, in fact you have had five husbands and the man you are living with now is not your husband.”
“Are you some kind of prophet,” Athaliah asked. “How do you know so much about me when I’ve just met you. Who are you really? Are you the Messiah? I know he is coming and when he comes he will tell all things.”
Jesus said to her, “I who speak to you am he.”
Athaliah was speechless. Here before her stood the Messiah. He didn’t condemn her. Didn’t make her feel worthless. Didn’t accuse her. He simply offered her a better life. These were words she needed to hear. Others thought her an outcast, the Messiah wanted to make her his own.
Athaliah left her water jars behind and ran to her village to share the good news she just heard from the Messiah. “Hey everyone. I met a man who offered me living water. He told me everything about myself. Surely this is the Messiah. He wants you to have this water too.”
She hurried home to get Jotham. “Come Jotham, meet the Messiah, he changes lives.”
People came to hear Jesus speak, and as they heard, right here in Samaria, men and women received this Living Water for themselves.
Story and Scripture from John 4:7-42 (ESV)
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I saw that the topic words were used, but how were they the focus of the story?
Keep on writing.
My problem is I already read a story like that. To make matters worse, I wrote a short story like that years ago. Neither of the stories I just read consider the after effects. How did she get people to listen to her when she was rejected by them? Was it significant that the disciples brought bread just as she leaves for town?
Think about stretching your story farther. Keep writing.
Drawing closer to the well, she stopped suddenly and held her breath. She squinted at the figure ahead, and her heart raced when she realized a Jewish man blocked her path to the well.
This is a super quick example to show you what I mean by showing instead of telling. It's not perfect, nor is it more right than how you had it, but sometimes it helps to see what I mean with an example. Body language is a great way to show the MC's emotions.
I think you did a nice job of writing on topic while delivering an important Christian message. You took me back in time and I could almost feel the hot sun. Although I might have left off the last line, I liked the ending. I think it brought the story full-circle and leaves the reader wanting to learn more, which is an awesome thing to do in this type of an article.