Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: SOCIAL (04/07/16)
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TITLE: Growing Up Bluebird | Previous Challenge Entry
By Donna Powers
04/12/16 -
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“Now, Daisy Bluebird, we’ve been over this. You’re just too young to fly out of the nest.”
“But, Mom! All my friends have flown out of their nests tons of times.”
“Oh, Daisy: if your friends decided to climb up that electric fence over there, would you do that, too?”
“If it got me out of this nest, I might try it. Honestly, Mom! I think you just don’t want me to have friends.”
“Well, that’s just not true, Daisy. After all, your life isn’t so bad. Look at how nicely I padded this nest. It isn’t even made out of pine needles, like that snooty Mavis Bluebird’s nest. I made this nest from soft dried grass and wove it with lots of feathers. On top of that, I bring you all the crickets you can eat. I stopped giving you larvae days ago. This nest is so comfortable; why would you ever need to leave?”
“Mom, I just want to see my friends. I’m tired of this nest, even though it is pretty comfortable. Look at this: Lisa Bluebird posted on Beakbook about a party Saturday night, and Corey Bluebird sent me an e-vite to see him singing over at The Meadow this afternoon.”
“A boy, Daisy? Oh, no! You’re much too young for that!”
“Mom, Corey’s just a friend. It’s not like he’s singing TO me …. he’s performing with his band: The Blue Screech. And in case you forgot, I’m 24 days old! I’m practically ancient! All my friends left their nests days ago! If you don’t let me out, I’ll never learn to live on my own.”
“Well, Daisy, to be honest…”
“What is it, Mom?”
“I’m going to have another nestful, soon and I was hoping for your help to feed the new chicks.”
“What about Dad?”
“He only visits at mating time. I won’t see him for another month or so. Please, Daisy?”
“Mom, this isn’t fair! Bluebirds are supposed to be social birds! We are supposed to be flying around making alliances with crows and sparrows.”
“Who told you that?”
“I read it on Tweetopedia.”
“Oh, dear. All right, it’s true. I suppose I have to let you go. Well, be careful, Daisy! Don’t fall for the first handsome bird who throws you a caterpillar, and stay away from the forest.”
“I will, Mom. Thanks!”
“Oh, dear, my baby is leaving me. This always happens. Well, maybe if I look for some fur to pad the nest, I can talk one of the next bunch into staying with me. Oooh, a group of insects! Off to lunch!"
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I loved that line.
Great use of dialogue to create a great pace/energy in this case and character development. Super lesson as well in untagged dialogue. I really enjoyed this. The voice was very sure and written in way all can enjoy. Excellent!!!!
Very nice job! Great voice!
Enjoyed the read...
Blessings~