Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: CHECKING IN OR OUT (hotel/motel on vacation) (08/27/15)
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TITLE: Eve's Reward~ | Previous Challenge Entry
By C D Swanson
08/31/15 -
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“I’m nearly done, as a matter of fact closing the suitcase as we speak.” Eve pushed her blonde hair from her face before plopping onto her bed.
“Did you try to get a room at our hotel? You mentioned you were going to try…did you?”
“No. And, I didn’t mention trying to get a room at your hotel. You’re probably hearing your own voice reverberating in that huge house of yours. I’m fine with our hotel remember? ” Eve laughed. It was a pleasant uninhibited sound that made anyone smile who was privy to it.
“But darling. It’s so—um—how shall I put it?”
“Cheap?” Eve offered up the word knowing full well that’s what her friend meant as she laughed again.
“Well, that’s a crude word. I’ll say—inexpensive.”
“Oh Mia, you’re a dear. You’re such a snob…a loveable one though.”
“I take umbrage at that comment. I’m refined and love the finer things of life.” This time Mia laughed knowing full well the word snob was more on target.
“Jim is outside packing up the car. So you can bring your luggage out anytime soon.”
“Oh…we’re not using our car? I thought we were going to use our—”
“Sweetie, you really do need a vacation. We already covered that at dinner last night. Jim offered to use our van; it’s bigger and more practical than your Jaguar.”
“Okay…well. Are you sure you won’t try to come to our five-star hotel? It has everything in it, including entertainment. It’s right in Disney World too.”
“We’re fine in our cheap hotel outside of Disney World. Besides it’s a mere ten minutes away from the park. We have reservations so…it’s all set.”
“I think we’ll follow behind in our Jaguar…I hope you don’t mind. I really enjoy the ride and feel of the car.”
“Suit yourself. Tell Steve…I’m thinking your hubby won’t like the sudden change. But, don’t worry about it; I assure you there’s no problem on this end.”
Eve, Jim and Savannah arrived on time for check-in, and met up with Mia, Steve and Ryan for dinner. Their children got along so well and took off to sit by the pool. They chatted and planned their day with the ease that comes from being with close friends. The vacation flew by within a blink of the eye, and before long, it was time to pack up and head home.
During the stay Mia kept boasting to Eve the details of her deluxe hotel, and was quick to inform as to what they were missing. It had charm, sophistication and an old world type of appeal. Blah, blah, blah…so on and so forth. But, they loved their friend and being a snob was part of her charm.
When they arrived home Eve was so tired she left the clothes in the suitcases and headed off to bed really early. It was while she was making coffee and preparing breakfast the next morning that the phone rang.
“Hello Mia. Are you guys as bushed as we are. I mean the old saying holds true, you need a vacation after having a vacation.”
“Um—can you put us up for about two nights?”
Eve’s heart lurched at the tone of her voice, “What’s happened? What’s wrong Mia?”
The silence was deafening as she waited for the response. “Um—we’re all fine, or at least we will be.”
“Sweetie, will you just get to the point? What’s going on?”
“It seems we inadvertently brought home some unexpected friends…”
“Huh?”
“Apparently, the deluxe five-star hotel I bragged about all week long—although comfy and spacious— had one little problem. They’re infested with little uninvited creatures called bed bugs!”
Eve resisted the urge to laugh out loud.
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Your stories always leave me with the ability to remember them long after I've read them. I won't forget Mia and Eve. Great writing, here.
Blessings, my friend.
I loved your story. Thanks so much for sharing!
The opening line could have been smoothed a bit. For example: Eve smiled when the phone rang for the second time in ten minutes. Before she could finish saying hello, her friend Mia interrupted. "Are you..." I also saw a tiny POV shift when you said both women knew full well.
Other than those tiny things, I totally loved the story. You did a wonderful job of developing the characters. The dialog was great. You nailed the ending. I laughed so hard. It wasn't what I was expecting and you did a masterful job with this great story.
Mia reminded me of the MC in BBC's 'Keeping up Appearances.'
And yes, I need a vacation after my vacations!
Wing His Words