Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: ANGELS WATCHING OVER ME (don’t write about the song) (06/04/15)
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TITLE: To The Least Of These | Previous Challenge Entry
By Marlene Bonney
06/10/15 -
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ADD TO MY FAVORITES
Most can’t understand why I act the way I do, like when I get excited and flap my forearms and make little noises with my mouth to show I’m happy. Mama says I am like a little bird learning how to fly. I don’t fit easily into the standard rules of behavior. My thinking patterns of emotion and reality confuse others, but I can see what most cannot. . .
In my sleeping dreams, I am a tiger or a snake or the latest cartoon character on TV and I pretend to turn into them after I wake up. I can fly faster than a speeding bullet, like Superman, or climb up tall buildings like Spiderman! I understand that my imagination is only pretending and know what is truly real and what isn’t. But, when I am not pretending, I also see many things that are more real than the physically seen by others.
Angels are my favorites, hovering in the background until God tells them to rescue me. Like the time I fell off my recumbent bike and had the breath knocked out of me. I have something wrong with my muscles so I can’t catch myself and my balance is weak. A couple of angels cushioned my fall so I didn’t break. They felt kind of airy and squiggly and soft, all at the same time.
Once I wandered away from our backyard. It scared mama real bad. I wasn’t supposed to go off like that, but there was this butterfly that I pretended had turned into Princess Leah, and I had to investigate. I’m a good detective! I got my spy gear out of the garage and went to chase her. One of my angels whispered into Mrs. Delaney’s ear—she’s a neighbor two streets over—and she called mama when she saw me breaking twigs off a tree by her driveway. Princess Leah had gotten tangled up in the leaves—I was the valiant knight who saved her!
One Sunday, on the way to church we saw a bad accident. Cars were smashed up and crinkled together like Benny’s squeezed accordion. I was glad that Lily, our van, wasn’t hurt like that. Then I saw injured people on the ground, angels drifting in and out of the wrecks. Some of the people were crying and I wanted to tell them to look up and see that God had their backs.
It seems so simple to me, but I know others have a hard time believing in things they don’t see with their eyes, and things they can’t touch with their hands or smell with their noses. I feel sorry for them. Someday when I get to heaven, I will ask God why lots of folks (and some of them have all kinds of fancy papers hanging on their walls that show how smart they are) don’t believe that He is real. They are the same ones who can’t see the angels and who look through me like I’m not here at all.
My angels keep watch over me all the time. Sometimes, when I am sick or get hurt, though, they seem far away. Mama says that’s because I have to learn consequences or God is teaching me things by NOT rescuing me. That is hard for most people to understand, she says, but that is what the Bible says so we believe it.
Sometimes angels turn into human form to help someone. Like the time our whole family got in an accident. Mama’s nose was bleeding all over her shirt, and papa had broken some ribs and baby Alice was hysterical. A man came up to us before the ambulance came to help. Mama gave him Uncle Ed’s phone number and sure enough, he was at the hospital waiting for us. We wanted to thank that man but no one else saw him, so we figured he was an angel in disguise.
Hey, listen! Can you hear the angels floating through the air? They are even quieter than a whisper, but if you really stop and pay attention, you might at least get a whiff of their scent—kind of like melting cotton candy. And, if you reach up and touch one, it will feel softer than a rose petal and smell on your fingers for a long time. . .
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I Corinthians 1:27-29
27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28 God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him.
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My red ink is small. Try not to overuse exclamation points. I don't think you needed any of the ones you used because your words, pacing and atmosphere were all spot on and did the exclaiming for you. Also, when using words like Mama as a proper noun, make sure you start it with a capital letter.
I can't say enough wonderful things about this. It's at the top of my all time favorite list. You brought your MC to life, and I felt like I was watching it all unfold before me. Your ending is poetic and shows what a gifted artist you are.
Excellent work that should rate highly.
Excellent work that should rate highly.
I've heard it said that all people with Autism are rigid in their thinking and lack imagination. I know this to be untrue and your MC is the perfect example.
The choice of scripture reference to round off speaks volumes. I hope this rates highly.