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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Omnishambles (05/01/14)
What was I thinking? Three days ago I must have been oxygen deprived when I told Josh “yes.”

“Hello Maxine, it seems to be going well, don’t you think?”

I rolled my eyes and lifted my hands up, “Whatever you say Josh.”

“But, look around they’re so happy, all of them waiting in joyful anticipation for the huge birthday cake. Now we can celebrate all of the resident’s birthdays with one huge cake. It’s going to be so much better than doing it individually.”

“I suppose there is an element of truth in that statement. However…I don’t know if the resident’s will like sharing their day with others. You know how they are; they’re quite obdurate when it comes to their routines. And you claim you weren’t met with opposition?”

“Oh—maybe one or two.”

I looked at him as I raised my eyebrows.

“Okay, most of them were pretty annoyed. But…I figured once we had the huge cake and sang it’d all be forgotten. You’ll see. And, I appreciate your backing me.”

“Well, I gave you a shaky okay—albeit; I was wrestling with doubt the entire time—however, I’ll be positive and pray for the best.”

I observed from a distance before stopping by each table to speak with the beloved residents. Most of them appeared to be engrossed with the decorations, while some were asking where their birthday cake was. Within thirty minutes I had finished saying hello to all of the residents. At this time I wondered where the entertainment was. Plus, the huge cake that was supposed to be displayed in the middle of the dining room was glaringly absent.

“Josh, where is the entertainment? And, where is the cake?”

“Oh, it’ll be here. Listen this may be my first time at organizing a birthday theme in a nursing home, but I know what I’m doing. Don’t worry.”

“Okay, but I will say this. Resident’s lose patience quite readily, especially when they’re waiting to eat.”

“I’ve got this. Don’t worry. As a matter of fact, here comes the entertainment now. The cake should be along shortly.”

Oh, and I forgot to mention, the State showed up for our annual survey. Anyhow, I breathed a sigh of relief as I watched the three piece band set up. The resident’s began clapping their hands anxious for the band to start playing. Along with the clapping were comments, “where’s my cake? When do I get my birthday cake?” The cacophony grew louder by the second, until the cake was finally wheeled in. It was beautiful and quite huge…it almost looked fake. When the music began the top of the cake opened and a beautiful half-naked young lady popped out. Needless to say, it took around thirty minutes to harness order in the dining room.

I called a local bakery and had ten cakes delivered stat. By time Happy Birthday was sung, and the cakes were in the residents plates the incident was nearly forgotten. Until one of the gentlemen who lived there asked, “Do you think that young lady could come back and finish her dance? She was rather good.”

By the way, The State surveyors were very understanding of the mishap and no fines were imposed...
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This article has been read 955 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
lynn gipson 
05/08/14
I LOVE this. I am belly laughing right now, at the old gentlemen wanting the dancer back. "She was quite good" is THE line of the whole story.

This one has got to take the cake, er, I meant prize!

Masterful writing, as always. I am still smiling at this one. The fact that it's true makes it all the more darling!
PamFord Davis 
05/08/14
This hits close to home!
My husband provides the entertainment for the monthly birthday party at a local nursing home. He sings old standards, gospel favorites and plays trumpet. The nursing home does provide one big cake & ice cream, that all attending share.
I assure you; no lady has jumped out!

Wing His Words
Francy Judge 
05/09/14
I can relate too...I work in a nursing home where my husband used to be the recreation director, setting up parties and the entertainment. When the state came, the strangest problems seemed to happen to add to the stress. Great writing!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
05/14/14
Oh what a hoot. I wish you could have seen my eyes bulge out when I saw the nonfiction note. That makes it even funnier. You nailed the topic and I totally enjoyed it.
Tracy Nunes 
05/15/14
This was a lot of fun. Doubly fun because it's true. Great writing!
Dave Walker 
05/15/14
Great writing. One can just picture the scene. Especially funny, that it is non-fiction.
Gary Ritter 
05/15/14
That was fun. I can just see the looks of horror by the female residents and the happy glee on the faces of the men.
Noel Mitaxa 
05/16/14
This was a lot of fun, and great reading. But just for the fun of it, let me be a tad pedantic. Your line "Now we can celebrate all of the resident’s birthdays..." has an apostrophe that has gone astray. One resident would only have one birthday - ie "resident's birthday." More than one resident would have "residents' birthdays," or do you mean one resident whose birthdays are all coming at once? (another set of trouble hiding here..:-)
But apostrophes always cause trouble for pedants like me, for an apostrophe is a punctuation mark that irk's purist’s if it insert’s it’self within plural’s or present tense’s and turn’s them into possessive’s.
It's time to stop before this comment exceeds the entry in length.