The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/01/08
Very creative! I like allegories. This one has such a beautiful ending!
I like how the King took away all the fears and replaced them with love.
Thank you for writing this.
Perfect love casts out fear. This is a beautiful and creative allegory.
I thoroughly enjoyed your beautiful allegory. The personifications were particularly effective.
Over the top creative. I love allegories, and this one is very well done. Two thumbs up.
Amazing allegory... so creative! Well done.
The words are descriptive and the message so beautiful, it could be a poem. Loved it!
Wow! Very well done. A good allegory is hard to beat, and this one is great! I especially like the part where the magician questions and then is reminded to put his own fears in the jar.
08/07/08
I liked this. Lots of good bits--the stench coming from the chest, the magician forgetting to include his own fears, the characteristics of Pride and Folly portrayed in the sniffing and dancing, creative use of "concentrate". My only tiny inky thing would be that you went from 1 magician to several in the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs.

You should definitely do another allegory, parable, fable, etc. sometime. Good stuff.
08/07/08
I wondered how "magicians" figured into this kingdom. You developed this wonderful story so well. A great job! Congratulations on your most deserving EC first place!
Woohoo! I'm so happy to see you in the top spot, very deservedly!
08/07/08
A well deserved EC first! Congratulations.
08/07/08
This was brilliant. I am in awe of this piece...it is perfect.
08/07/08
This was positively worth the EC. Very good job! Congrats!
08/07/08
Excellent. So simple but powerful. Well done.
08/07/08
Wow. Loren, you have such a gift. What a beautiful portrayal. You have such a remarkable and God given gift. Thank you for sharing that gift with us.
08/07/08
Excellent job, Loren. I really enjoy your writing. Congrats on Top Spot. God Bless.
08/08/08
Excellent story! Congrats on your EC!
excellent!!!
08/08/08
I agree with all the wonderful comments above. An excellent allegory - And simply stated: Either a person is inside the walls of the King's city or looking in from the outside, there's no middle ground. I hope this reaches and teaches many people. Congrats on the EC.
08/08/08
What an amazing story filled with creativity, wonderfully decriptive sentences and jam packed with imagination. Of course a winner! Congrats to you and will look for your challenge next week. Thanks.
08/11/08
Loren, Loren...! This is so creative, thoughtful, powerful, truthful--EXCELLENT! I knew it was a winner from the first paragraph! :) CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Loren, Absolutely loved this. Congrats on the #1 in EC.