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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Pierce (06/05/25)
A perfect world, and perfect
Fellowship with God.
Between man and wife
There was no strife.
Alas, the voice of satan
Splintered the calm.
Only God had the
healing balm.

Sin, a flood, slavery, and
Sorrow. Along with
Dry desert wanderings.
It was a time of judges,
Prophets, and kings.
Intermittent peace
Slashed by the clang of
Swords and other things.

Then a time of silence.
Where is God’s
Promise?
Will hope ever be
Rewarded?
Probing questions
Have long been
Thwarted.

In God’s own time, the
Darkness was split by
A Baby’s shrill cry.
A life of teaching,
Miracles, and grace,
Cut short by
Betrayal, nails, and
A cross to embrace.

An anguished cry
“It is finished!”
Stabbed the air.
Final breath, a borrowed
Tomb—Does no one care?
The third day came,
He has risen! Man can be
Freed from sin’s dark prison.

Day of Pentecost
Crowds gathered around.
Peter spoke.
Hearts were pierced—
Splintered, slashed,
Pricked, ripped, and torn…
And perfect fellowship
Has been restored.

Inspired by Acts 2:37 NASB : "Now when they heard this, they were pierced to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, 'Brothers, what shall we do?'"
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
06/12/25
This is really lovely. You tell a gripping story through your poem. My only advice is tiny, although I understand that punctuation is the poet's decision, I'd suggest you cap Satan, not out of respect, but because it is a proper noun and in my opinion, by not using it as his name makes him seem less than what he is--a demon who can do incredible damage. Your message is powerful and on point. You did a wonderful job of writing on topic and created a vivid picture with your words.
Laurie Kiel 
06/13/25
A beautiful picture of the salvation story. My favorite part of the poem was the stanza about Pentecost and the vivid verbs used concerning hearts. Well done.




Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
06/16/25
Also, if you're part of the FW's group on Facebook and would like to receive more comments, go to the page and look for a post called Drop a Hint. You can leave a clue and others will hopefully see it and come, read, and comment on this piece. If you're not a member of the group, you can join! Hope to see you there! We also have a place to leave hints on the forums.