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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: CABIN (09/08/22)
September is Suicide Prevention Month. I find it ironic that the month of my birth is dedicated to preventing suicide since I’ve contemplated ending my suffering more than I care to admit.

Often, I struggle with everyday tasks and wonder why I’m not a perfect Christian and grandmother like my mother seemed to be. One of Mom’s favorite places in the world was a little cottage by the lake, her special place of respite. I have many lovely memories of that tiny, red cabin where Mom demonstrated how much she loved me. There I learned everything from waterskiing to how to be a gracious host. Mom played with her grandchildren and made each one feel special and loved. Everyone was welcome to drop in, stay a spell, and marvel at God’s glory as the sun sparkled over the water.

But since her death almost thirty years ago, that little cottage has been deserted, left to sit on the bank--no longer the welcoming domicile that Mom loved. I look at it now and empathize. If it had emotions, I suspect they’d be quite like mine. I can almost feel the pain of that neglected shack. Bitterness seems to envelope it. I am filled with feelings of abandonment, anger, and fear. I feel run down, unkempt, and lonely, much like the cabin appears today.

Thoughts of being a burden overwhelm me. Often my pain knocks me to my knees, and I cry out to God, “Please help me; show me my purpose.” I close my eyes and yearn to be the type of grandmother that my mom was. I want to invite my granddaughters to come for a sleepover, to teach them the lessons that I learned at that cabin. But much like the run-down building, I feel old, worn out, and beyond repair. I worry I can’t do enough for those I love--that I too am destined to be condemned.

Suddenly, I realize I’m not alone. My mom’s blood runs through my veins, and I hear her voice in my mind. “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.” However, I can’t help but wonder if my problems really are temporary. The elusive illnesses that cause my fatigue and pain have no cure and are difficult to treat.

I think again of the cabin. It needs more than fresh paint and a good scrubbing. The only real fix is to take a bulldozer, knock it down, and build a new cottage on the land that Mom loved. The foundation is cracked, useless.

As I consider bulldozing my own life, Jesus whispers in my ear. “You are not rotting wood, desolate, and hopeless. Your foundation is built on love. Love is stronger than concrete. You matter more than you will ever know. You touch lives in ways that only you can do. You, my child, you are needed.”

Tears slide down my face. I am ashamed of my thoughts. I can’t provide a cabin on the lake for my children and grandchildren, but I can give them me. Technology allows me to see their faces from afar, watch videos of their events, and even play games with them on the computer.

Maybe I can make a difference in the world. I can’t rebuild that lakeside house, but I can be like Mom in my own way. I can reach out to others who suffer like I do. My body may feel like a dilapidated cabin, but my heart can be a respite for others. After all, September is Suicide Prevention Month.

Author's Note: If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. In the US, call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
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This article has been read 591 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Dennis Gallemore
09/21/22
I have to admit that I wasn't sure if this was a work of fiction or if it was a personal essay. In either case, it is certainly a very powerful piece that addresses a serious issue, especially in today's high-pressure world. God accepts us as we are, but it is often quite difficult to accept ourselves. We are not perfect, far from it, but we always have something to offer others. We always have a purpose, a purpose that lasts until we pass from this world. We are here for a reason, perhaps many reasons. We can touch someone's life in a positive way no matter what is going wrong in our own life. Thank you for sharing with all of us.
C D Swanson 
09/21/22
This was so very powerful and intense. This is a subject that is tough to write about, yet you did so and defined it with the dignity and attention it deserves. Well done and thank you for sharing this.

God bless you~
Bonnie Clarkson
09/21/22
This is a very touching, poignant story. It is so personal, I hate to critique. Also, I have little experience with non-fiction. Here goes. I loved the comparison to the cabin. An example of that is "My body may feel like a dilapidated cabin…". That sentence would make a strong first line, but it probably would also mean a major re-write. The first line should hint at conflict and draw the reader into the story. An easy one to fix is paragraph 4. Three sentences start with "I", eight in the whole paragraph, and not a "me" in sight. The last paragraphs had three sentences starting with "I". I tried reading all of it aloud. I suggest you do too. The beginning has some long sentences that I ran out of breath for. You said, "I realize". What triggered it? Poem? Verse? Song? You could expand on that. I think of Jesus as being the foundation. Since it is Jesus talking, you could say "My love". It's a very nit-picky point, but "skiing" should come after about hosting guests. The reason I say this, if you have a party, it's logical that guests may want to go skiing. This probably doesn't matter in this story, but some other time you write, logic may help with the flow of what you are writing. Check, maybe even count, how many sentences start with a noun. If you think there are too many, try starting with a phrase. Thank you for your critique on Revised Two Views of Christmas. I wrote that many years ago. I knew I wasn't satisfied with it, but I didn't know where to begin until it was critiqued. Email me if you want to hear more of what I have learned.

Marlene Custer 
09/22/22
Congratulations on First Place!
Corinne Smelker 
09/22/22
Oh, congratulations = well deserved!
Verna Cole Mitchell 
09/22/22
Congratulations on 1st place for an excellent presentation of a difficult topic.
Avigail David
09/22/22
Our Father in Heaven bless and keep you all your days. It is tough. It takes much courage sharing our innermost feelings of pain, anxiety and struggles that seem to have no solution for them.

You have written a powerful message of hope, peace and faith in our trustworthy and compassionate Heavenly Father.

Thank you so much.
C D Swanson 
09/22/22
Dearest Shann,

A hearty congratulations for a well-deserved EC and first ribbon!

This entire entry was profound and touched my heart. In particular, the following:

“You are not rotting wood, desolate, and hopeless. Your foundation is built on love. Love is stronger than concrete. You matter more than you will ever know. You touch lives in ways that only you can do. You, my child, you are needed.”

Shann, you are deeply loved and appreciated, and I thank you for all the times you have been undaunting in your help with my writing, and how inspiring you have been, and continue to be to me, and others.

Thank you.

God Bless you~
Ellen Carr 
09/23/22
Congratulations Shann on your 1st place win! And thanks for sharing your story so openly and movingly. Be assured that you have sown positively into many others' lives and you still are. God is using you and will continue to do so.
Karen Dick 
09/25/22
Thank you for sharing your heart in such a powerful and touching way. Your piece truly exposed the emotions and turmoil of a distraught soul. I appreciate very much how you also gave hope in the conclusion. Congratulations on your well deserved first place win.
Philippa Geaney
10/04/22
Congratulations Shann. As with every other comment - I appreciate your honesty, the creativity of your simile, and how very important you are to fellow writers- taking time to critique is greatly appreciated.❤️