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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: FRESH (04/29/21)
Worse than the dull ache between his shoulders, the one that every so often seemed to erupt into fiery talons that squeezed his ribs tight and dropped him to his knees, worse than the monotonous plodding in a never ending circle of misery, worse even than the stench of his sweat and that of the oxen in front of him, worse than the abyss of darkness his foolishness had condemned him to, was the knowledge that he had wasted his prodigious gifts on glittering and flashy trifles, on women and wine and vain and vanishing things that lead only to a meaningless death. There was no life in that sort of living, only the inevitable price too high for such shoddy goods.

He had lived only for himself, and now that he had his fill, he couldn’t repudiate it. He was past that. He was in the depths of misery, he would wallow in it and then he would die, and not a soul would care. Many, if truth be told, would raise their cups of foaming wine and laugh aloud in celebration. They had feared him once, but now they had brought him low, and with him his people.

If anything could drive his misery even deeper it was that gnawing, hectoring accusation. The truth of it, that he had been destined to lead his people, God’s own people, from victory to liberty, but instead had chased after fleeting pleasures, stung him deeply. It was his betrayal of his own destiny that came before all the other betrayals that had dragged him into this pit.

He heard voices, he did not understand the words very well. He also felt the beam of sun that fell diagonally across his weary back. He was as certain of that as if he could still see. A gentle breeze fell on him like a kiss, A pleasant aroma from freshly blooming olive trees perfumed the air.

He made out some of the words they were using. A feast, a celebration and a revel were planned before this week was over and they intended to display him for their amusement. The breeze moved again, lifting the hair around the back of his neck and over his ears. Samson’s hair was growing back!

As they closed the stone door to the mill, the Philistine guards for a moment thought they heard the prisoner laugh, then dismissed the thought as ridiculous. Must have been just a cough.
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This article has been read 283 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Holly Westefeld
05/12/21
Excellent! Your descriptions are vivid, and clues well woven in to the story. It required a second read to enjoy the nuances I missed the first time. I also like tha you ended without rehashing wha the biblically literate person already knows. I expect this to do well.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
05/17/21
You did a great job of pulling me in. I liked the anticipation and trying to figure out who it might be. Using dialog, body language, and thoughts might put you over the top with showing instead of telling. Congratulations on ranking 18th overall. Happy Dance!