Ultimate Battle | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: Ultimate Battle | Previous Challenge Entry
By Rachel Burkum
10/24/19
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Forget it! Forget him!

“No. I can’t!” I scrunch my eyes shut tightly. “I won’t!”

Fool! Where has he been all this time?

“He’s been with me. With me, I tell you.”

Then why have you suffered so? Maybe he’s been there, but no longer loves you.

“Liar!” My interlaced fingers turn almost white as I grip my own hands.

How is it a lie? He has abandoned you. Forgotten you. You should forget him, too.

I now feel the burning tears cascading down my contorted face. “I won’t! I refuse.”

You are a fool and you know it.

“The only fool is you, for thinking you could win this.”

But I’ve won. You’re weakening. Just give in.

Already on my knees, I bend face-down to the floor, my fists still tightly clenched.

Let go! You know he cares nothing for you. You’re hurting. You’re alone.

“I’m not alone!” I’m rocking now, fighting with all of my being. “He is here. With me. Always.”

Then why is your heart in pieces? Why have you lost so much? Your job? Your security? Your family? Everything you hold dear is gone. Remember?

“I remember!” My head shoots up in anger. “You don’t need to remind me of my pain. I feel it every day. But He is greater than that, and can heal my wounds.”

Then why doesn’t he? I ask again: where is he? I don’t see him.

I straighten my torso, straining against the emotional barrage. “You don’t see Him because you are blind. You have been ever since you defied Him.”

And rightfully so. He is not what he says. He will let you down. He has proven that already.

“No! The world may have let me down but He has not. He has been with me all this time. He has never left my side.”

If that were true, your mother wouldn’t have died. Your brother wouldn’t have left. You wouldn’t feel like you were hanging on by a mere thread.

I stop. And I wonder for just a moment, if it were true. But the gnawing in my soul reminds me who I’m dealing with. “If it weren’t for Him,” I hiss, “I would have nowhere to turn.” I muster up the strength to move one leg, then the other until I am standing once again. “But I do have somewhere to turn. My Lord and Savior will never leave or forsake me. He is the beginning and the end. The all-powerful, all-mighty God of the universe.” My voice raises with every syllable until I am shouting. “I have chosen to follow Him no matter what this world does to me, and I will not abandon my faith! I. Will. Not. Forget.”

The following silence is deafening. All is still. And I sense a void where the persistent deceiver has been. Knowing he is now absent, I feel every ounce of tension crumbling. But I am now wrapped in a soothing warmth that has been there all along. I wipe my tears and maybe even smile. I have been through so much. I am so weary. But the voice I have clung to for so very long speaks directly to my burdened heart.

I love you. I am here to carry you. I am here to comfort you. Well done, my child. Now rest... and allow my peace to heal you.

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