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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: TOURIST TRAP (08/20/15)
We saw the sign as we drove down the highway.

Museum of Procrastination 60 miles ahead! Take Exit

The rest of the sign was blank.

I turned to my wife. "That sounds interesting. Let's go."

"Naw. Maybe tomorrow."

I gave my wife an odd look. "Uhh…"

She laughed. "I'm kidding. Sounds interesting to me, too. And hey, maybe I could even ask if I could set up an exhibit."

We pulled off the exit, attempted to follow the half-completed signs, and pulled into the parking lot. Or at least we assumed it was the parking lot. There were no spots painted, and it was nearly empty. We checked the hours of operation, which said it opened at 10:00 AM. It was 10:30. The doors were locked. We shrugged our shoulders and started to walk away, when a worker opened the doors. In retrospect, this should have been our first clue. Actually, the half completed highway sign should have been our first clue.

"So sorry. We opened a bit late today. Had to have that staff meeting we kept putting off. Come in. Come in."

We followed her inside, and paid the $15 dollar admission fee.

"I looked around, but couldn't find any signs directing us. "Where do we go from here? Is there a tour guide, or do we explore on our own?"

"Well, you can explore on your own, but to get the most out of this, we recommend a tour. One should be starting soon. Well, sooner or later. You know how it is."

My wife looked at the museum employee. "Does the tour cost anything?"

"Oh, no. It's free with admission."

"We'll try it," I replied.

About ten minutes late, our tour guide arrived. "Follow me, please." We followed her to the first exhibit, which appeared to be an empty pedestal. "This here is supposed to be a sculpture depicting the mind of a procrastinator. The artist promised it would be here last month, but he hasn't quite finished it yet.

"Over here, you'll see what is supposed to be an essay on the struggles of a procrastinator. As you can see, it's an unopened ream of printer paper. It's a work in progress.

"And if you follow me, I'll escort you to our auditorium, where you can listen to a speech about tips to help procrastinators." The tour guide must have noticed the looks my wife and I were exchanging, because she quickly added, "Don't worry. It's included in the price of admission."

I rolled my eyes and followed my wife into the auditorium. We sat down. I think we got pretty much what we expected. Nothing. I took a deep breath. "Let me guess. The presenter is going to have his tips ready next week?"

"Wow! You're really catching on to the spirit of this museum. Would you like to see the rest of the exhibits?"

My wife shook her head. "Is it about the same as what we've seen so far?"

"Well," the employee paused a bit. "Yes."

I stood up. "I think we've seen enough. But could you please direct us to the nearest restrooms? I didn't see any signs."

"Oh, we haven't gotten around to putting those up yet. Exit the auditorium, turn right, and follow the hall until you can't continue. Then turn right, go down the stairs, turn left, walk past the next three exhibits…"

I interrupted her. "That's enough. Can you at least show us to the exit?"

"Well, if I must."

We followed her, and, of course, had to pass through a gift shop before we left. It appeared to the only part of the museum that was completed. Or, nearly completed, at least. They sold only one item: A shirt that said "Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow." The clerk in the gift shop greeted us. "Would you like a t-shirt?"

My wife winked at me. "Actually, I think we will buy one."

We looked at each other, and I finished the statement with my wife. "Tomorrow."


And now, a special note from the museum proprietor:
In case anyone is wondering, there is no museum of procrastination. At least not yet. I mean, as soon as I finish this, I'm going to start the plans, I promise. Well, actually, I need to go to bed. Maybe tomorrow. But I work tomorrow, and this weekend I've got plans, and... Never mind.
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This article has been read 1478 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Noel Mitaxa 
08/29/15
Thanks for getting around to dropping this entry is. It was a lot of fun.
Noel Mitaxa 
08/29/15
Thanks for getting around to dropping this entry is. It was a lot of fun.
Noel Mitaxa 
08/29/15
Thanks for getting around to dropping this entry is. It was a lot of fun.
Noel Mitaxa 
08/29/15
Thanks for getting around to dropping this entry is. It was a lot of fun.
Noel Mitaxa 
08/29/15
Thanks for getting around to dropping this entry is. It was a lot of fun.
Noel Mitaxa 
08/29/15
Thanks for getting around to dropping this entry is. It was a lot of fun.
Noel Mitaxa 
08/29/15
I apologise for all those comments - and for their lack of variety - an unintended case of deja 'view,' but the laptop did not register any response to my tapping. But maybe now just this once.....
C D Swanson 
08/29/15
I enjoyed your piece just as much as Noel did, he just repeated it more!

Well done...

God bless~
Loni Bowden-Horn 
08/29/15
Sorry it took so long,to write a comment on your brilliant piece, but I kept putting it off. After all, "tomorrow is another day" I kept telling myself. Loved this entertaining piece.
Bonnie Bowden 
09/02/15
The line about buying the t-shirt tomorrow is brilliant. This story is so creative and entertaining. I hope the judges don't postpone reading it.
C D Swanson 
09/03/15
Congrats!
God bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
09/03/15
Oh Allison. This is absolutely brilliant! I love the satire of it all. I signed up for a procrastinators support group. Well I filled out the paperwork, we'll until my pen died. I went looking for another pen and got distracted by the purple lights my husband put in the hall. I figured I'd finish it today, but I can't find it anywhere. But, I need to clean and sort out the stuff in my room. I have like 20 craft projects that sounded cool so I ordered them, but haven't finished them... Yet. Truth be told, I haven't started them yet. But I digress. You did a fantastic job. I laughed the whole way through. Congratulations on ranking 1st overall. You are brilliant my sweet friend! Happy Dance!
Bonnie Bowden 
09/03/15
Congratulations on your 1st place EC award, Allison. I really could relate since I have a habit of procrastinating myself.
Loni Bowden-Horn 
09/03/15
Congratulations on your first place win in EC. Creative piece of work
Margaret Kearley
09/03/15
Many congrats Alison and very well deserved. This so clever. I read it a few days ago and was going to comment but didnt get round to it .....!!!
Mariane Holbrook
09/03/15
Very cleverly written! I have two grandsons who are masters of procrastination, their credo being "Why put it off til tomorrow when you can put it off til next week?" (which explains why their homework is never finished). I admire your writing skills, Alison
Bea Edwards 
09/03/15
What a timeless piece of humor.
Well done and congrats!
Gregory Kane
09/04/15
Great opening scene. And the t-shirt response was classic. Well done indeed.
Leigh MacKelvey
09/04/15
This was so wonderful! So very creative and clever . I loved every part of it, buty favorite was the T-shirt and the proprietors not at the end. You truly won this challenge deservingly. Is that a word? Well done.
Ellen Carr 
09/05/15
Congratulations, Allison. This is really, really good and very amusing. I'm glad I've got around to looking through the winning articles; it's so easy to procrastinate. A well deserved 1st place.