All I Really Need | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: All I Really Need | Previous Challenge Entry
By Allison Egley
03/12/15
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"Abandon hope all ye who enter here." I give a sarcastic laugh and toss my hair over my shoulder, shaking my head, as I walk under the banner hung in the hallway at my high school. It had first appeared a couple of weeks ago, as part of a Senior prank. But the principal thought he had a sense of humor and decided to leave it up until the end of the year. If only he – and the students who had put it up – knew just how true it seemed for some students. Maybe then they wouldn't think it was so funny.

I just moved, and I can't seem to fit in. I've tried, but... maybe I'm trying too hard. Every time I think I'm getting somewhere, I make some stupid mistake. Take yesterday, for instance. I thought the quarterback of the football team actually smiled at me. Then I tripped over my own two feet. He pointed and laughed, as he alerted his buddies to the klutz sprawled out in the middle of the hallway. My Geography book hit him in the foot. Floor: 1. Me: 0.

And then, there was the other day in science class. We were doing an experiment, and I added the wrong chemical. I stunk up the whole classroom, to the point that we had to evacuate and turn on the exhaust fan. Exhaust fan: 1. Me: 0.

One of the cheerleaders decided to poke fun at me the other day, and called me ugly. I shot back, "Well, your mom's ugly!" She ran off crying. Her friend glared at me, and told me her mom had died last year. Oh, man. I didn't mean to hurt her that badly. I stammered an apology, as I ran off in the opposite direction. My tongue: 1. Me: 0.

Ever since the move, everything's gotten worse. It's not like I was the most popular girl in my class at my old high school, but at least I had friends. But here? Nothing. It feels like it will never get better. There's so much more than the words, too. The sideways glances, the whispered words, the pointing. Maybe I should just carry a big sign that says, "New girl! Stay away!" At least then I wouldn’t be expecting anything better. I just don't even know what to do anymore. It feels hopeless. I've thought about it before. You know. taking too many pills, or cutting myself... Depression: 1. Me: 0.

Where is God in all this anyway? In Sunday school, I learned all about God, and how He'd never leave me. Well, it sure feels like He's abandoned me now. It's not like I thought life would be all rosy after I accepted Christ, but I expected more than this. Doesn't He care about me? God: 1. Me: 0.

I walk into my English class and pull my hoodie over my head, as I lay my head down on my desk. Maybe I can just blend in, and no one will see me. Then I feel a tap on my shoulder. Oh great. What did I do now? I slowly turn my head, and notice the girl sitting next to me. Is that a... smile?

"Hey. You're the new girl, right? I'm April. What's your name again?"

I slowly sit up, and look at her suspiciously "Leah."

"Look. I know how hard it is being the new girl. My dad was in the military. I've already moved five times."

"Really?"

April gives me a shy smile. "Yeah. You get used to it, eventually. And you learn that every new place has its challenges, but every new place has its own special flair, too. And you learn to appreciate the little things."

I shrug my shoulders. "Yeah, something like that."

"Hey, this might sound crazy, since I've only introduced myself, but... my church is having youth group tonight. I have some friends I'd like you to meet. You want to come?"

I pretend to be disinterested. "Sure, I guess. I've got nothing better to do."

A small pebble falls off my hardened heart. Maybe God really does care. I know one night isn't a cure-all, and I know I'll have my setbacks. But for now? I have hope for today. And that's all I really need.

*Fiction*

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