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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Park (10/25/12)
What manner of quiet is this - what manner of morning peace? These self-same trees once burning with the glow of dying embers - their branches aflame with autumn’s leaves - now stand bare in charred tributes to their former selves. Foliage once burnished with flames to warm the soul on lonely walks, now gone.

Hearts now hastens to see and hear what eyes and ears cannot - lying beneath the snow - even deeper, beneath the frozen soil. The soft sound of slumber the escaping murmurs of dreams. Fertile field - set apart - what secrets knit within your womb – what hushed visions dance within your bedchambers?

Icy pond, mirror now fogged with frozen vapors do you wait the brushstrokes of gliding fowl upon your waters - is that what will awaken you? Is summer’s light the sword it carries to pierce your bosom, lance the boil of dearth, and deride winter’s scarcity?

Morning sky now bereft of winging bird that gives air its very grace, do you hesitate in warmer climes that they may linger and frolic in your streams? Do birds call out for you to stay; or do you, with warm Chinook winds, whisper and tease them back to fill this dawning amethyst void?

Hidden creatures, of pelt, scale, and feathers, what shadows veil your secret lairs, your brakes, your dens – your hideaways? Droning bee, dancing butterfly, bobbing firefly; has nature yet to knock at your doors? Does earth’s tilt tumble you out of your refuge? Is Atlas friend or foe?

Flower and bramble, do you wait the gentle warm patter of rain gilded with sunshine? Nubile buds, fragrant with fermented and calming scents; your colors wordless to acclaim, what hesitates your coming forth?

Beneath the trees now bereft of greening leaves, blossoms of spring and hint of summer, I wait. On a bench, beside the icy pond in the fertile fields of Dickinson Park, I wait.

Seasons are but a pupa, which cannot be hastened. Creatures, great and small, each a life beyond ourselves, bide their entrance – their promised coming perched in our souls.

What manner of quiet is this – what manner of dawning peace? Poem of life, never ending stanzas - the future lays waiting in the past. This park, its fields and tenants each a rebirth of a hope and beauty that was and will ever be.

So too my thoughts in remembering them - awaiting their promised return.
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This article has been read 2198 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Karen Pourbabaee 
11/02/12
Such a rich tapestry of words and images, a wonder to contemplate! And an equally rich message of hope...beautiful artistry!
Myrna Noyes
11/06/12
This poetic piece, so rich and lovely in its vivid descriptions, so beautiful in its ode to creation and its cycles, captivated and enchanted my heart!! I felt as if I was reading one of the great masters of nature writing! Amazing job! :)
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
11/07/12
You have some lovely descriptions here. I wondered at times if perhaps it balanced on the edge of purple prose but then I'm more of a conflict and resolution type of a person. If I dig deeper into this poetic piece I can see a struggle against change not only for people but things as well--like the last leaf clinging to the branch. There is a deepness about this piece that leaves me with a sense of peace. Nice job.
Noel Mitaxa 
11/07/12
You have a wonderful skill, in creating evocative word pictures and charging them with powerful emotions. Great work.
Beth LaBuff 
11/07/12
As surely as a painter makes a masterpiece on canvas, you, in eloquence create splendor on a page. This is "Beyond" beautiful. Your descriptive phrase and perfect metaphor rise off the page and surround the reader. Wow! Total Wow!
Bea Edwards 
11/08/12
Congratulations on you EC winner, it is a stunningly beautiful piece of art. You have a way of painting pictures with words that leaves me a bit awestruck. Thank you for your devotion to the wordsmithing craft.
Verna Cole Mitchell 
11/08/12
Congatulations, Loren, I am soooo proud of you for being at the very top with this lyric prose pesm, one of the loveliest I have ever read. This masterful piece is a joy to read and remember!
Leola Ogle
11/08/12
Good job Loren. Congrats!
Karen Pourbabaee 
11/08/12
No surprise your exquisite work took the honors...congratulations Loren!
Margaret Kearley
11/08/12
This is SO amazing and absolutely beautiful. I was going to pick a favourite line, but I cannot - they are all magnificent. Just wonderfully descriptive. Many many congratulations.
Danielle King 
11/08/12
Breathtakingly beautiful. What an amazing gift you have. Congratulations!
Myrna Noyes
11/08/12
Loren, I am not one tiny bit surprised that your hauntingly lovely piece took first place this week! It is truly a masterwork! CONGRATULATIONS!! :D
Olawale Ogunsola
11/08/12
A very rich piece with a deep message. Congrats!
Noel Mitaxa 
11/08/12
A well-deserved first placing
Charla Diehl
11/08/12
Loren, this piece overflows with imagery that puts the reader on a park bench watching each mural burst forth in front of our eyes. Exquisite to say the least--and very deserving of its first place win. Big congrats!
Beth LaBuff 
11/09/12
Loren, I'm so pleased this took top honors at FW. Congrats on your EC awards and level ribbon. It is so very much deserved!
Ellen Carr 
11/09/12
This is a beautiful piece of poetic writing and well deserves its win. Congratulations.
Frankie Kemp 
11/09/12
Beautiful alliteration and powerful imagery--and beautiful message. Your piece follows the same theme mine did. What can that mean, except that the Lord Himself speaks the same message of hope and promise even when our eyes see different things? God is good!
Frankie Kemp 
11/09/12
Oh, and I really like the way that you did this:

"What manner of quiet is this--"

It felt almost as if I were reading a psalm from the King James. Simply put--just very nice.
Bonnie Bowden 
01/16/13
I love the lyrical lilt of this piece of writing. Congratulations Loren, on your 1st place entry.