Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: In-Law(s) (05/08/08)
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TITLE: Diaper Pins and Puppies | Previous Challenge Entry
By Beth Muehlhausen
05/14/08 -
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“Oh … she’s done it AGAIN!”
Grandma Minnie, my husband’s mother, knew exactly how to drive me nuts. Every time I left the kids with her she’d find some “error” in my mothering techniques based on her own outdated ones.
“Just look at this! She’s still on that diaper pin jag!”
I spoke to no one in particular, and yet the puppies on the nursery wallpaper - with their eager eyes, dangling pink tongues, and alert ears - seemed to agree implicitly.
“I REFUSE to do things HER WAY! This is 1950 – and I WILL be a modern mother!”
As I pulled off my baby’s plastic pants and planned to exchange Minnie’s tiny safety pins with my own larger ones, I could almost hear her thick, Hungarian accent bombarding me with all those comments about big … or rather “beeeg” … pins.
“Deees eees veh-lee impore-tunt, Betty. Dose grrr-ate beeeg pins … day could steeek da baby way deeep, no? Better to use da leeetle short pins.”
In my mind’s eye I visualized Minnie’s stocky frame draped in a tent-like, flowery housedress. I saw her bushy eyebrows perched above storm-cloudy eyes; her tight lips pinched to conserve breath. Although I knew she meant well, her words always seemed to pepper me like bullets.
“You … you leesen to me, now. Dose beeeg pins, day do not beeelong on da leeetle baby! Hear me? I does not want to seee dem a-gain!”
Once again I unfastened Minnie’s tiny pins - already bent and ready to pop open from holding the corners of such thick cloth diapers - and complained to the perky dogs on the wall. “You know, these stupid little pins are more likely to fail and stick the baby than my big, strong ones.”
Ha! I imagined the clustering throngs of enthusiastic puppies wagging their tails, and for a split second we celebrated our agreement in unison.
It was true that I didn’t know how to manage my relationship with Minnie. I realized her love ran deep and her motives were pure – and yet I felt like such a failure when scrutinized by her standards. Minnie’s big but stubborn heart controlled me with a kind of militant insistence.
Perhaps the only way to survive, I reasoned, was to apply my mother’s recommendation: “kill her with kindness!”
The following week I drove to Minnie’s house, pulled up to the curb, and sighed out loud. It was “now or never.” With the baby in one arm and a freshly baked apple pie in the other, I approached the door with a broad smile smeared across my face.
“Ah, eeet eees you … come in, come in!”
I placed the pie full of tantalizing cinnamon aromatherapy in Minnie’s hands. “This is for you, Grandma … to thank you for babysitting for me.”
Minnie’s face softened; even her usually-tight lips curled in a childish grin. “Ah, well, deees eees nice; how nice!”
I proceeded without hesitation to present my agenda. “I hope you enjoy the pie Grandma – and you can feel free to critique it and let me know your own apple pie secrets!”
Minnie’s eyes visibly brightened.
“I also want to ask you a favor; my doctor has asked me to use this new kind of diaper pins with extra-large, extra-strong, locking heads that will not open accidentally. Here, I brought you some extras you can keep at your house! So now we won’t ever have to worry about the baby getting stuck accidentally.”
Minnie stood still as a stone, her housedress billowing in a soft breeze floating through the screen door. She clasped the pie with white knuckles - almost as if she expected it might try to escape - and stared me down, eyeball-to-eyeball.
“Deee DOC-TOR … heee say-es deees?”
“Yes, Minnie, isn’t it wonderful? No worries; these pin heads lock!”
She seemed hesitant, but only for a second or two. Her stiff body relaxed, and she set the pie on the dining room table while exclaiming, “Ah, deees eees wonderful, my dear! Da baby eees safe … deees eees good. Verrry good! Let’s have a piece of pie before you leave, no? Do you have time for a piece of pie weeeth the old Meee-neee?”
I smiled to myself, thinking of the encouraging puppies back home on the nursery wall. They would be proud of me and agree: love conquers all, even a headstrong mother-in-law stuck on outdated diaper pins.
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Minnie's accent is adorable and it read easily.
Yea for your MC that she figured out how to make it better for everyone.
All Minnie wanted was for the baby to beee safe. ;) ;) ;)
Laury