The Official Writing Challenge
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01/10/08
Don't you just want to slap Peter upside the head? Sad ending reminded me of the "Cat's in the Cradle" song. I wonder how his sons will turn out?
01/11/08
Good illustration of the mc's demise. He had a lot of chances to change, and I wasn't sure which way the plot would turn. Nice writing!
01/11/08
Ohh - people like this irritate me too! You certainly put us right in the middle of it. Nice job.
01/11/08
How sad this is for everybody involved. Good illustration on just how far procratinating can go -- how many lives it can affect. Nice job with the topic.
I have met people like this. It's so sad to see them wasting a good life with such an attitude. Great writing!
01/12/08
Engaging reading. I've met people like this too, who will not motivate themselves for any reason. Seeing the character making the wrong choice at the end while his family wait for him to ring was sad.

This is so sad. It is so frustrating to deal with people who always have an excuse. Perhaps he has ADD. Good writing.
01/12/08
great illustration of how habits like this only get worse with more dire consequences. very well done.
I was hoping that his wife actually leaving him would instigate a change, but there are some changes only God can make.
01/14/08
Karen's comments were my exact thoughts! As a southerner my first thoughts run to bopping with cast iron skillets! LOL Great story.
01/16/08
I knew a gal like this and she drove me up the wall! I can't stand being late-it's so rude to others. Great story-you churned the emotional waters with this example of the topic.
01/16/08
Oooooh, good one! I'm one of those "always early" people and tardy folks really get my goat. Your ending is biting and perfect.
01/16/08
Great writing.
I also became annoyed at Peter, but at the end I started wondering if he has ADD or something. To be distracted from calling your wife after she leaves is more than irresponsible. Still, a great lesson on being on time.
01/16/08
I like how you show Peter as he grows up--every paragraph is a glimpse into his life...and why he is the way he is. If there was another chapter...I see a correction coming his way!
01/16/08
Sorry I'm so late with this comment but you know how it is. Great story. I could almost see it ending with him being late for his funeral.
Ooooh...that Peter makes me so mad! I just want to hold him and shake him until reality snaps into his head! What a consequence to pay for a little thing that could've been fixed and still could be if he'd just get a little bit more together than his selfish self. ^_^ Great job here, good character. As the reader, I could definitely relate to this!
This certainly raised some real emotion in me. Peter is a narcissist, to say the least.
You kept my attention, but I really wanted Peter to change. Well done.
You really nailed the topic with pitiful Peter. It was sad to follow his progression.
Although I saw this coming, I enjoyed the "lesson" none-the-less. You really captured the mind of the slackerd and it makes one wonder can anything ever be done to change their behavior.
The snips of Peter's life is very creative. The vivid descriptions are so sad. Excellent ending too.
01/17/08
A sad life that goes from bad to worse. You've got great descriptions and examples. Good lessons here. Thanks!