Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Inner Strength (04/20/06)
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TITLE: Spine of Steel | Previous Challenge Entry
By Helen Paynter
04/22/06 -
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In the crowded room, he is alone. It is overgrown with tangles of admirers, but his unshared dilemma has driven him into the wasteland.
Despite his internal struggles, there is little to betray his agitation. Just a lightlessness within his eyes.
He stands silent, scrutinized.
Yes, this is a junction moment. So many lives in the balance. An opportunity to alter the lot of millions. Forever.
Does he have the courage to set it in motion? The backbone to see it through?
He can sense gimlets of indecision boring little holes in his determination.
The eyes of his closest followers are upon him. How willingly they have danced upon the cutting edge of his radical polemics. Yet what do they really grasp of the sacrifice in prospect? They have sworn fatal loyalty. But how faithful will they be when the soldiers arrive?
And what of the crowd? The thousands that flock to hear him. They need a shepherd to lead them softly to sanity. How greedily they lap at the draught he delivers. But the steel of popularity is double-edged. So keen the partition between love and hate. They were eager to offer a crown. What if they discover that his brand of kingship is not to their taste?
Satan smirks in the periphery of his vision. He must not underestimate the enemy. In every corner, behind every sycophant, it lurks, subtle and perilous.
Sweet victory flaunts her charms. Her price will be immeasurable. But how glittering the prize.
He will not admit fear into his reasoning. Nor pity. The strong will triumph by courage and determination. And he is strong. Unbending instrument of purity.
Give me the papers.
He takes up his pen, weapon of mass destruction, and incises the document with his signature: Adolph Hitler.
It is good to have a spine of steel
but only if your feet are on the Rock.
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I would liked to have seen more of Hitler's alliance with Satan. I know you were going for the shock factor which worked great - but since Hitler represents all that is evil, your message could have been stronger about the difference between evil power and Godly strength by weaving Satan in there a few more times.
Great word useage and visuals!
I agree with the thoughts about the interaction between Satan and Hitler. A little more would have shown us Hitler's descent into the occultic foundation of his Nazi Socialist government.
A very tightly worded piece! The competition in this level is definitely heating up!
That said, I didn't think the last lines fit the rest of the piece. You made your case effectively and dramatically without telling us the "moral" or "point" that you were trying to make. Trust me, the reader, to understand that which you so skillfully had just demonstrated. Is it enough to hurt your chances in the judging? I doubt it. I'd rate this high across the board.