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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Aspired - Despair - Diapers - Praised (08/28/25)
Beth held her beautiful baby boy for the first and last time. He was so much smaller than he seemed when he was inside of her. After nine months of carrying him, she couldn’t fathom that this day was actually here.

Beth and her husband, Brian, had been euphoric when they discovered she was pregnant. After three years and countless doctor’s visits, there was life growing inside of her! It was as if the sun itself shined brighter, and all of creation flashed new colors.

Twelve weeks into her pregnancy, an ultrasound revealed Beth was carrying a boy. They named him “Sam”, and began talking to him regularly. Their entire future revolved around their son. They counted down the days to when they would get to meet him in person.

At her 20 week check up, Beth’s doctor recommended an amniocentesis just to confirm that everything was “in order”. It had never occurred to Beth that everything might not be in order, but she followed the medical advice. The amniocentesis led to more tests, and ultimately confirmed a rare disease wherein life would not be possible once the umbilical cord was cut. Termination of pregnancy was strongly encouraged.

Beth could not, would not, consider aborting her baby. She spent the next several months feeling Sam’s life growing inside of her, all the while desperately trying not to fall deeper in love with him. Brian became numb in his despair. He no longer talked to Sam or even referenced his name. Even Beth’s round belly, that he hadn’t been able to keep his hands off of, now seemed offensive to him - like a flashing neon sign reminding him of his grief.

Despite Beth’s best efforts, her son was born. As she held Sam with his dark curly hair - damp and pressed against his beautiful perfect face, her tears drenched his cold little body. Her breasts ached with wanting to be nursed.

The doctors and nurses tried to console her. They told her there would be other babies, but she didn’t want a different baby - she already loved Sam. Her mother told her of her own miscarriage, and said that time would repair her heart. Beth didn’t know how that was possible.

Her husband said nothing. He wouldn’t even look at their baby. Despite her own pain, Beth worried about him.

Still in her hospital bed, she cried out to God for Brian. She had just lost her son, and couldn’t bear to lose her husband too. God reminded Beth of a childhood accident wherein Brian’s baby brother had died. She didn’t know many details because it was too painful for him to talk about, but she suspected it was still a source of guilt for her husband. It dawned on her that Brian might be thinking this was God’s “payback”.

Beth called her husband’s older brother in California.
“Please come. I know you and Sarah hurt like this when you miscarried. I am sorry I didn’t understand your pain; I do now. I don’t know how to reach Brian… I’m afraid that guilt over the death of your baby brother so many years ago has resurfaced and is sucking him into a really dark place.”

Brian’s brother agreed to come almost immediately. Over the next several days, he literally walked through Brian’s pain with him, while at the same time proving to him over and over again, that the God they served does not hold grudges. Beth continued to nurse her own sadness, but felt huge relief that someone else was taking care of her husband in a way she could not.

Time really does ease all pain. Slowly Brian was able to overcome his despair and, maybe more importantly, for the first time, release his guilt. He and Beth became husband and wife again, and two years later, they gave birth to another beautiful baby boy. They praised the Lord, and named him Nathaniel which means “gift of God”.

”A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” Proverbs 17:17
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This article has been read 137 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Marlene Custer 
09/07/25
A story well-told. I believe the loss of a baby is hard to fully comprehend unless one has experienced it. And while we rejoice that a new child has arrived, the first child has not been replaced.
Wilma Schlegel
09/08/25
My heart aches for you. What a strong, wise and loving Christian woman you are.
Very well written.
Loni Bowden-Horn 
09/08/25
This was such a beautiful and heart-breaking story and the way you wrote the story really pulled the reader through many of the emotions that you and your husband experienced.

I am so thankful your husband was able to get together with his brother to work through some of his grief.

I hope that if this is a true story that you were able to speak to someone that deals with grief.

I can just imagine Sam waiting for you in heaven and how much joy Sam will have reuniting with you and your husband.

Thank you for being so honest and open about all the emotions you went through loving that little guy before he was born and how many people you helped with sharing your sorrow and grief.