Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Protector (12/05/24)
-
TITLE: Everyone Knows | Previous Challenge Entry
By Margo McKenzie
12/10/24 -
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
Approaching home from the doctor, Paul and his mother, turned onto their street. Right away, Paul saw Keith’s father as he sauntered down his stone steps. The shiny brim of his blue cap with a metal shield right in the front stayed firm on his head. Paul always wanted to ask him what the three stripes on his sleeve meant. Now his mouth was too sore and stiff. The officer tipped his hat to greet Paul’s mom, and seeing Paul’s lip, he said “Are you going to be alright, young man?” Paul shook his head, and his mother said, “Yes, thanks for asking. A schoolyard accident.”
“You take care of yourself, okay?” he said to Paul and kept walking toward his car.
Paul wanted to tell him that he tries but that on most days two bullies make fun of his lisp.
On the block where he lived, none of the kids made fun of him. Maybe once in a while. But they mostly had fun together. They played punch ball and skelly in the street. Even hide and go seek. They often sat just to chat or play chess. But no one on his block was in the same school as Paul. At school, he was on his own. In the schoolyard, sometimes, he had to fight.
Paul turned around and watched Mr. Johnson cross the street and insert a key into his car door. For a split second, he could see his thick, black belt and the bullets and gun in his holster. To Paul, he was the kind of strong every father should be.
“Mom, sometimes I wish. Mr. Johnson was my father,” he said, one Sunday at breakfast.
His mother believed she knew exactly why her son thought that way. She had enrolled him in Boy Scouts hoping a troop leader would become a mentor to him. He learned so much with the scouts, but no one seemed to fill the gap Paul’s father left when a drunk driver hit his car one rainy day in June. She was standing by the stove stirring spaghetti when the phone rang delivering the tragic news. The turmoil had not stopped swirling in her life or her son’s since that day. He was only four. That was eight years prior.
From the bay window of their house, they could see up and down the street. On Sundays, she saw the Brown family as they left their brownstone. All of the children would get into their mother’s blue station wagon with their Sunday shoes and fancy dresses. They were heading to church. Before she kept her window closed to the lingering odors of Ms. Jones’s housefire, she could hear the kids talk as they sat on the steps outside her home. One day, she overheard Lathion speaking to Paul.
“Hey, Paul, why don’t you join us, one Sunday?”
“I’ll have to ask my mom,” he said, but he never did ask her.
Paul’s mother used to wonder about God and church, but her husband had always said those teachings make people weak. She didn’t think much about God after that. Years later, in another stoop conversation with Charlie and Keith, Lathion didn’t seem weak at all after he did poorly on a math test.
Just before he made a chess move, Charlie said, “Yo, Lat, I gave you all the answers, why didn’t you use the cheat sheet?”
“I’d rather an honest fail than a dishonest pass.” That wasn’t a response from a weak person.
Those memories that morning prompted Paul's mom to probe further, “So you wish Keith’s father were your father? Why?” Then she placed a plate of pancakes before him.
“Then we would have security in the family. Our very own protector.”
“The Browns don’t have a policeman in their family.”
“They don’t need one, Ma. Everyone knows God is their protector.”
“You think God is just for them?"
“I wish I knew.”
“Well, let’s find out. It is Sunday. Eat up and then get dressed.”
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
But all these other characters are confusing. First, you speak of Keith's dad...I wondered, who is Keith?
Perhaps you could have introduced your mc by showing why he is being bullied. Then show how the incident with the baseball bat happened, and then round it out discussing belief in God and church.
This has a lot of potential. Don't give up!