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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: RELAX (06/08/17)
As I rushed around the house packing the diaper bag and getting the children ready to visit their grandparents, Tim came into the kitchen looking very dapper in a light blue polo shirt and gray pants. “Seriously?” I said, feeling a sudden panic. “You told me we didn't have to dress up.”
“What’s the matter?”
I looked down at my khakis and worn out lavender shirt that now seemed embarrassingly ordinary for lunch at Arlo’s Fine Dining with Tim’s new bosses, George and Janine.
“You look great,” Tim said.
“No I don’t. I look like something the cat dragged in,” I snapped, and ran upstairs to change my clothes.

Storage boxes and suitcases were scattered around the bedroom, glaring evidence of our recent move to Tim’s hometown. I went from box to box and quickly found the one marked ‘Katie’s spring clothes’, and pulled out my go-to beige skirt.
“Hon, we’re going to be late. Do you want me to drop the kids off at my parents and then come back and get you?” Tim called from the hallway.
“No. I’ll be right there,” I said, frazzled and put the skirt on, relieved that it still fit.

It was only when we arrived at the restaurant that I realized my skirt was severely wrinkled.
“Oh my gosh, look at my skirt,” I said frantically. “It’s like a roadmap.”
“Katie, stop worrying. It’s fine. Anyway, we’ll be sitting down.”

George and Janine were a friendly, well dressed middle aged couple. They talked a lot about their company and Tim’s job. I remained quiet and smiled when the conversation dictated. Then Janine turned to me and said, “So Katie, how has it been living in Tim’s hometown?”
It felt like the whole restaurant had suddenly gone quiet waiting for my response. “Oh. It’s cool,” I stammered and felt my face turn beet red.

“Aren’t George and Janine great?” my husband said, as we drove home.
“I’m such a fool.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Oh, nothing.”
“Katie, the lunch went really well.”

Driving up to my in-law’s house the first thing I saw was Lizzy and Josh digging in a small dirt pile in the front of the house. “Why isn't anyone watching the kids?”
“I’m not sure,” Tim said as he parked the car.
I got out and found my toddler John around the side of the house drinking out of the hose. “Oh my gosh,” I yelled and picked him up.
I marched into the house with John on my hip. Thankfully the baby was sitting happily in a highchair sucking on a lollipop.

“Well, how did it go?” Tim’s mom said unaware of my ire.
“It was fine, but the kids were outside unsupervised.”
“I was just on my way out to them,” she said wiping her hands in a towel.
“Mom, we thought someone would be outside with them.”
“Well, I can’t be in two places at once.”

That afternoon Tim headed to the office. After I put the kids down for a nap I spent the rest of the day unpacking the rest of our things. When Tim came home a few hours later I was still upset.
“How are you doing?’ he said as he came into the bedroom.
“I’m fine, I said and headed down the stairs holding the empty storage boxes.
He followed me. “Katie, what’s going on.”
“It was supposed to be a great day. I wanted to make a good impression at lunch and I embarrassed you in front of your new bosses … I mean what grown adult says cool? Why couldn’t I think of something more articulate to say? … and I then yelled at your mother, but seriously, who allows their grandchild to drink out of the hose?”

As I entered the kitchen I saw my in-laws by the table holding a bucket chicken and a gallon of ice cream.
“I tried to tell you that my parents are here.”
“A peace offering for not taking better care of the kids,” my father-in-law said.
I burst into tears and my mother-in-law came over and gave me a hug. “Oh honey, I know it’s a stressful time, but you’re going to drive yourself crazy if you don’t learn to relax.
“I know,” I said.
She smiled, "Here," and she handed me a plate of chicken.
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This article has been read 487 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
07/05/17
I totally enjoyed this. I have a bit of a smirk on my face because I identified a bit too much with your MC. (This is one story I won't be sharing with my husband. You did a great job of sharing your message with me, I don't need him to rub it in. :) But maybe I haven't learned totally since I still would stress over him rubbing it in. Baby steps!)

I have some tiny red ink for you. When you combine two words to make one modifier like light-blue or worn-out, use a hyphen. (It will also help cut down on your word count as hyphenated words count as one.) I also noticed some commas where they aren't needed. Unless it is used for a series (I like milk, juice, and soda.) you don't put a comma before the word and unless it is joining two independent clauses. (I snapped and ran upstairs--no comma but I snapped, and I ran upstairs--would need comma because each part could be a complete sentence.)

You have a delightful sense of humor. I also liked that the conflicts were clear right off the bat. You also had a couple of different conflicts (with self, with others). I thought your resolution was satisfying too. She won't change over night, but being aware makes it possible to change. That felt very realistic. You also did a fine job of writing on topic.