Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: SLIP OF THE TONGUE (01/26/17)
-
TITLE: The Christian Life is Delicious | Previous Challenge Entry
By Hugh Houchin
02/02/17 -
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
He grabbed his parka from the corner closet nestled in the entryway of their home and burst out the front door. He slammed it shut. He didn’t have the parka’s hood over his head, and the door slamming caused freshly fallen snow to slip off the porch roof and down his neck.
He looked for steam escaping from under his shirt and parka collars. He thought about laughing, but that might ruin his self-righteous moment.
In a few swift man-strides he reached the main sidewalk and turned right, but he turned too sharply. His foot slipped on the slick surface, but he caught his balance before he fell.
He stopped and pondered about the last few moments. The words he uttered, the snow down his neck, and then almost falling. “Oh well, such is life.”
Letting his feet play GPS he passed “Shoppers Delight”, a small suburban mall. “Ok nose, find where that smell of cinnamon rolls and coffee is coming from.” He found the scent factory and slipped into a booth.
A waitress soon faced him with order pad and pen.
“Just a cinnamon roll and a cup of coffee.”
“Cream with your coffee?”
“Naa, black, and I want the roll that I smelled outside on the sidewalk; the one that wouldn’t let me walk by without stopping.
“Sure enough, I’ve been saving it for you since the day before yesterday.”
“Wow, you’re like the weather, very sharp.”
She smiled and went to get his treats.
Darren noticed a wrinkled newspaper lying next to him. He started to pick it up but decided he didn’t want to read anymore about the presidential election.
“Here’s your roll and coffee, enjoy.”
He bit into the roll. Its warmth and softness slipped across his tongue. It reminded him of Donna. Her softness followed by the warmth of her arms around his neck.
He put the last of his daydream into his mouth and followed it with hot coffee sliding down his esophagus. He left a $10 bill on the table and ventured outside to tonight’s life of cold loneliness.
He saw a “Vacancy” sign a couple blocks away, which was a flashing advertisement for his bed that night.
He looked around the room; the sparsely furnished nook matched the moment. “Why did I say those things to Donna? They were out before I even knew they were in.”
He grabbed the remote and flipped through the channel guide; he turned it off “I can see this junk at home, with somebody.”
He lay in the bed; it felt huge. He stretched out one arm and felt nothing but empty vastness. He extended his other arm, but, this time, his hand touched something lying on the bedside stand.
He lifted his head and looked. The words Holy Bible scorched his eyes and his reflexes deflected his hand off the Bible and back to the safety of the bed.
Lying there, his nerve and inquisitiveness prevailed and he reached out and put his finger on the Bible. Then he sat up on the edge of the bed and gingerly picked it up.
He opened it to the title page; it, too, said Holy Bible.
He flipped a page and found an index, then an introduction to the Bible, and a section about how the Bible came into existence. Then he came to Genesis 1:1 and read it out loud. “In the beginning God created the heavens and earth.”
Darren laid his hand on the page and then turned it over to look at his palm. No burns, except for the one in his heart.
Slipping into the depth of the pages he began to read, genealogies and all. About an hour later he looked up and descriptive phrases slipped off his tongue headed for his heart.
“I didn’t think it would taste that good; it’s full of flavor, satisfying, aromatic. Its words are smooth, sweet and sour, smelling like life. They soothed my ears and were soft to my eyes.”
Jesus Christ walked Darren home that night. Darren rang the bell and Donna opened the door. He responded to her with a special seasoning that allowed the delicious taste of Christianity to effortlessly slip off his tongue.
Scripture from the NASB
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
You don't need the word about after ponder. Since you are going farther back in the past, you need had (or he'd) before uttered. That same line isn't a complete sentence but is an easy fix.
By adding body language and thoughts it helps build to the vivid picture you painted.
You have a great sense of humor and had me chuckling throughout the read. I also liked your creative take on the difficult topic.