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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: OVERSEAS VACATION (08/13/15)
One More Ocean

My earthly life has been so blessed,
I’ve seen and done so many things.
I’ve walked the roads of my Lord Jesus,
And I’ve seen the thrones of kings.

I’ve beheld the beauty of sky and land,
Of lakes and rivers and seas.
I still find shapes within the clouds,
And cherish a cool summer’s breeze.

I shook the hand of a President,
I met my childhood idol, and cried.
I know how it feels to be in love,
And mourn for those who have died.

I’ve known the love of family,
And the ups and downs of life.
I know how it feels to be undone,
And grow weary from all of the strife.

I know how it feels to be flying high,
With the mountaintops at my feet.
I know how it feels to crawl through mud,
And wish for death as a final retreat.

I’m in the middle of my life on earth,
And there’s a lot more for me to see.
But there is just one more ocean to cross,
That leads to eternity.

The glory that awaits me there,
Will surpass what I’ve seen so far.
A vacation from which I will need no rest,
And I’ll dine with the Morning Star.

On streets of gold, I’ll walk with Him,
And I’ll laugh and give Him praise.
I’ll hold His nail-scarred hand in mine,
As we enjoy our unending days.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Rachel Rudd
08/21/15
I'm not the best judge of poetry, but I think your poem has a good rhyme and a very good message. I was a little confused about how old the speaker was, but that isn't necessarily important. Thanks for sharing!
Bonnie Bowden 
08/23/15
Your poetry has good rhythm. I liked the journey your MC took through life; however, I don't think it met the criteria of this week's topic of oversea vacations.
Zacharia Fox
08/26/15
First, this problem is pleasant and moving. My favorite line is the one that has the mountaintop under her feet :-)

No, I will say if you hadn't clarified the age of your MC in the brick throwing posting, I think I would have been a little confused.

I think your biggest Takeaway should be from the many highlights in this poem:) it really is wonderful. The small criticisms offered above do not detract from the beauty that this piece is:)

Well done:)
Zacharia Fox
08/26/15
*** this POEM ( not problem) is pleasant
Zacharia Fox
08/26/15
*** this POEM ( not problem) is pleasant