Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: THE UGLY TOURIST (07/09/15)
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TITLE: Beauty inside out | Previous Challenge Entry
By alan kane
07/16/15 -
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I don't believe people are so gullible.
Talking about dupes I watch two, an older couple's. It looks like the husband is being bored by his wife. She's spouting all about the beauty of this place. Is she blind how can she describe this place as awe inspiring. 'The way the sun rises over the mountain is radiating the panoramic view; and the roar of the three waterfalls descending into a channel far below humbles you with the grandeur yet serenity of nature.' What nonsense! She continues 'The power of the water creating swirling vortexes far below.' The only thing I would want to see is her being circled by sharks, then she might actually stop spouting such noncense. I did not come here to listen to her drivel on.
I came to Montana's, Glacier National Park to escape my broken home life. My wife told me to go and find who I am. As my great great grandmother was a Flatfoot Indian, I thought where better than my ancestral roots.
I finally leave the lady to her fantasy and walk away from the group
What did my wife mean by 'I have turned into an ugly person'. I still look the same, yes maybe ten years older than when we first met but still presentable. I still can control a crowd and can persuade clients to use our services. I provide well for my family, we now have a five bedroom summer house and a ski chalet at Elk Ridge, Arizona and a penthouse in New York where I spend most of my time these days. My family live most of the year at the summer house. My wife says there's absolutalely no point being at the penthouse as she never sees me these days. I'm always at the office. I see the kids for thirty minutes a day if lucky on Facetime.
Yes I guess work has taken over my life. I cant even remember when I last went to church. As a young couple we used to be regular members but at least I still bank role most of the ongoing repairs.
Drifting away under the heat of the sun...Coming 0ver the hill, Suddenly I am fully alert. Deer! I gasp. The sportsman in me wonders if i would be allowed to do some hunting. As I watch them they seem to not have any care in the world. Their playful movement and frolicking tells me this definitely must be a no shooting area.Shame! Feels strange to just watch, its actually mesmerising. While I watch, one of the young deer falls and can't get up. The others try and help it but it seems stuck. All of a sudden I feel for this animal. The deer seems to notice me for the first time and gives me a pleading look. It's strange but I feel like I have the power of life and death over this creature.
My ancestors I recall used to be one with animals, could I possibly be feeling this deer as myself. As a semi practising Christian I don't agree with animal spirits but I had to admit something unusual was happening. I climbed over to the deer and carefully pulled its leg out of a crevice. It looked into my eyes trusting me. It's been many years since anything or anyone trusted me in that way.
The deer gave me one last look before rejoining its family.
Looking into those innocent eyes for the last time, I saw something ugly. Myself! That deer's main concern was to rejoin its family, to belong not hoarding for the future.
The more I looked at myself, the more I saw meanness, self-centeredness, true emptiness.
As I walked back to the group I walked up to the old couple and said, "you know something your wife actually knows what she is talking about." With that the old man smiled.
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Keep an eye on punctuation and this will flow much more smoothly. Otherwise, a very enjoyable read.
God bless~
God bless!