Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Pros and Cons (08/14/14)
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TITLE: E-I-E-I-NO! | Previous Challenge Entry
By Rachel Barrett
08/21/14 -
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ADD TO MY FAVORITES
Life in the country is pleasant, you bet
Then my brand-new young bride said our needs were not met.
“Bring me chickens,” she said, “and I'll love you forever.”
Would hens really make it so simple, however?
Her
The start was so easy, so harmless enough
Six cheeping and peeping small bundles of fluff
Brought home from the bin at our town's Feed-and-Seed
I'd give them their care, as we had agreed.
Him
I should have been wary, I should have expected
But such a success I'd have never suspected
My bashful young wife became quite the flockster
And I was caught hard 'tween a rock and a lobster.
Her
Then our small flock of young hens got a booster
When they were wed with some cute little roosters
Soon we would see the fruits of their union
And chickenish happiness would be the conclusion.
Him
I'd approved of the plan—I was not apprehensive
That our poultry shenanigans would prove too extensive
I weighed all the factors before we began
But it seems that I wasn't a vigilant man.
Her
“The chickens are livestock,” he said at the start
“They're not pets, they're for eating—now learn that by heart!”
But now they have names, they have collars and tags
Our plans to consume them have hit quite a snag.
Him
So now our poor chicken house bursts at the seams
With too many chickens—we've gone to extremes!
They roost on the porch, they peer in the windows
They walk where they please, like we're some sort of Hindus.
Her
I never guessed chickens could be so enthralling
And so for a bigger flock I began trawling.
Thus, as more and more birds I collected,
With chicken addiction I soon was infected.
Him
This was too serious! It was way out of hand!
This chicken obsession had never been planned.
Then a friend called me, a desperate chap
Who needed some help getting out of a trap.
“I've a rooster,” he said, “who's mean and who's nasty
He torments my poodle, and what's even more ghastly
He jumps like a demon when I step out the door
He's trying to kill me—I can't take any more.”
Aha, I thought quickly, here is the answer
I'll break her of chickens and get her a hamster.
This rooster could teach her a lesson or two
And then she would come to her senses, I knew.
Her
Pleased with my flock, then I got a surprise
When who should appear with a wink in his eyes
But my hubby who held a mysterious box
And said “This ought to just knock off your socks!”
I opened it up—what a sight to behold!
A beautiful rooster, with feathers of gold
His tail iridescent, his comb such bright red
The bird parallel of a real Thoroughbred!
He wasn't so sweet as I hoped he would be
But time would do wonders, my darling would see
He'd learn to trust me and all would be well
I'd handle this chicken; hubby's fears I'd dispel.
Him
My devious scheme was really backfiring
Her love for those birds showed no signs of expiring
She liked that mean rooster! And as for the chicks
They were thicker than thieves, stuck to her like ticks.
She fed them and sweet-talked them 'til, at her whim
They would happily jump, they would risk life and limb
To get her to smile and tickle their feathers
Her chickeny world just got better and better.
That rooster was smarter than I'd pegged him for
So sweet to my wife, but toward me he meant war!
He sneaked and he ambushed, he growled and he clucked
'Til I warned him to stop or his head I'd deduct!
Her
It was almost too late when I came to my senses
Somehow we had to search out a consensus
We'd stew the mean rooster, but I'd keep my hens
And never get too many chickens again.
Him
That's what my chicken-addict wife has just promised
Should I believe her? Well, I'll be honest
The ups and the downs of this poultry probation
Caused both great merriment and much consternation.
On the other hand, though, she sure did have fun
This chicken adventure cannot be undone
Through pros and through cons we'll keep on together
In good times and bad. . .and sometimes in feathers!
Footnote: True story. . .mostly.
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WEll done.
God bless~
This is one of my favorites so far this week.
Thanks.
I loved how you painted us such a vivid picture of a farm being overrun by chickens who had become pets. I guess you couldn't even bring yourself to collect the eggs? That would have helped some. :)
Great job!
For me, I would have found it a little easier to read had you tightened it up a little and kept the beat a little more consistent. for example:
Life in the country is pleasant, you bet
Then my new bride said our needs were not met.
“Bring me chickens and I'll love you forever.”
I speedily ran to the chicken seller. (a beat of 10,10,11,11)
That being said, I could not stop reading from beginning to end. even if I struggled with the rhythm, I had to keep reading. That's the hook of a good writer.
It flowed smoothly to its
con clusion.
Well done.
'This was too serious! It was way out of hand!
This chicken obsession had never been planned.'
Awesome.
God bless~