Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Outlandish (05/19/11)
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TITLE: Watch Out. I'm Armed | Previous Challenge Entry
By Veronica Winley
05/23/11 -
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Then early one morning, about 5 am, I was in my study, reading my bible and preparing for my quiet time with the Lord, when a large, gray, pointed nose, twitching and studded with whiskers, peeked around the door. Quiet time was over, to which my husband, the neighbors and anyone within 10 miles can attest.
So entered Quizzy, a year old, playful, gray, white and tan “Tabico.” As her name suggests, Quizzy was interested in everything, especially anything that moved. At first I was delighted with this inclination because it meant if any cheese- hunting invaders came around, she was ready to pounce. However, I was less enthusiastic about her inclusion of moving people parts. Any dangling, waving, tapping or walking appendage was attacked with sharp little teeth and claws.
“No, Quizzy! No!” was shouted, accompanied by a gentle little shove. The effectiveness of this was questionable since she usually just danced away, to lie in wait for the next passerby. Even lying in bed, perfectly still, was no guarantee of safety, because sometime sheer boredom prompted a kamikaze attack on anything protruding under the covers. After a while, these assaults became very tiresome and painful…until I discovered the bottle.
Strolling through a beauty supply store, I came across a charming little, lavender-colored spray bottle. While holding it, I received an inspiration and rushed to the checkout with my find. When I got home, I filled the bottle with water and waited. I didn’t have to wait long. (I confess, I may have wiggled my fingers to tempt her.)
Like bees to honey, Quizzy honed in on the bait and received a spritz of warm water in her face. Startled, she jumped back and then ran. “Yes!” I shouted…although I admit to feeling a little mean.
It would be nice to say she was a fast learner and once was enough. However, after several “rainy” days, she got the message; bite me to your peril. The story should end here. Should.
Life is full of things – and people – that hurt us and most of the time we just suck it up and move on. After all, what can we do?
Then my husband forgot our anniversary. I waited until 11:58 pm, just to give him enough time to make amends, and then woke him up.
“Did you know today is our anniversary?” I asked, poking him in the side.
“What?” he mumbled, as he tried to get away from my finger.
“I SAID, did you know today is our anniversary?”
“I SAID, did you know today is our anniversary?”
“Gee honey. I’m sorry. I’ve been so busy lately… I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”
I would have been satisfied with that. But then he kept talking. Punching down his pillow and adjusting the covers, he continued, “It’s not as if twenty seven years is one of the big ones, though.”
Feeling sharp little teeth and claws in my heart, without really thinking about it, I reached for my cute, lavender-colored bottle and gave him a face full of misty water. Well, he was fully awake after that and as he exclaimed and sputtered, trying to wipe his face with the sheet, I realized how much better I felt. Laughing, I settled down, punched my own pillow and went to sleep.
As I stated before, life is full of things and people that hurt us. I started carrying my “mister” around with me.
“Beware Harried Cashier, who won’t accept my coupons. Watch out, Busy Executive, who steps on my foot in the elevator and doesn’t bother to apologize. You’re next, Helpful Friend, when you suggest (“for my own good”) I get the light vinaigrette for my salad, instead of my favorite calorie-laden Thousand Island dressing.” Just thinking about the look on your faces after you’re spritzed makes me chuckle.
The counselor says it’s probably mid-life hormonal changes and with medication, I’ll be back to normal. Maybe. But I’m still keeping my lavender- colored bottle. Just in case he’s wrong
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Of course, how could I say anything else, lest I be next?
But please, please; never take your bottle to church, for if you ever think the preacher has said: "Let us spray," the results may be quite cat-astrophic!
I hope the judges also smile in your direction, as you have built this story so well.
PS. If you want to make your cat's job easier, feed it some cheese - and then it will have 'baited breath!"
Congrats on your Highly Recommended win