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Topic: White (10/29/09)
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TITLE: Writer's Block (ii) | Previous Challenge Entry
By Dolores Stohler
11/03/09 -
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He recalled the last time he’d seen Angie. It was in the courtroom after he’d admitted his guilt. She’d looked at him as though she didn’t know him -- looked right through him as she passed him on the way to the aisle. “Angie,” he’d called out in anguish but she’d hurried away. That was a whole month ago and there hadn’t been a word from her since. He knew that losing her would be the worst sentence he might receive. He might as well be dead!
Andrew picked up the pen and wrote “Dear Angie” then stopped. He’d written business letters with ease but how the devil could he find the right words to express how sorry he felt for the grief he’d caused her and the boys. His boys! Perhaps he’d never see them again if Angie got a divorce with custody of the kids. His brow broke out in sweat at the thought and the hand holding the pen trembled so he couldn’t write. Tears of grief made their way down his face and several plopped onto the paper, marring its purity.
Words from the book of Isaiah he’d read this morning wormed their way into his mind, “…no matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can take it out and make you as clean as freshly fallen snow.” ( Isaiah 1:18 TLB) With all his heart Andrew wanted to believe these words. His prosecutors hadn’t believed them; they talked as though the money he’d embezzled were the worst crime on earth.
It was all about the boat; wasn’t it? If he hadn’t had his heart set on owning that sailboat, he might be home with his family right now. But she was so beautiful with her white hull and the wind in her sails as they set off for parts unknown. They’d never planned their destination because it was more fun that way. And what adventures they’d had! The sheer joy of being at sea with his family had driven Andrew to greater heights of exhilaration than he had ever known. He couldn’t regret that -- no way!
In the beginning he’d intended to replace the money but his confidence had grown when the audits were approved and he’d taken more, this time to buy an expensive home in the suburbs. That home was Angie’s pride and joy. They would lose it now and, of course, she blamed him for that. All of it gone -- the boat, the house, the car. It had been great while it lasted but the cost was much greater than he anticipated. It might cost him his freedom, his marriage, everything he held most dear. Oh, God, what a fool he’d been!
He stared at the paper again, considering. “I can’t make excuses to Angie. She won’t buy that. What can I say?“ A small voice spoke within his head. “Just say you’re sorry. Tell her you fell upon your knees yesterday and gave your life to Jesus. Tell her you’ve had a change of heart and money doesn’t matter to you anymore. You only want her forgiveness; you’ve already received a pardon from God.”
Andrew picked up the pen again and began to write. His face was wet with tears when he arose at last and walked to the bars, calling for the guard in a hoarse voice, “Hey, I need an envelope and stamp.”
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