The Official Writing Challenge
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This is wonderful sci-fi. The last sentence was the perfect touch.
07/29/08
I really liked most of this story and thought it was well written. I must have missed something though in the end. I think the ending was meant to be a joke, but if her family is all dead, how does a joke fit in?
This story kept my interest. I'm not sure if I fully understand the ending, either. Apparently she had heard their conversation, and was confirming that she was indeed just a machine that didn't show feelings? Is that right?
Very subtle. I suspect that the coded message was a set up to test the lieutenant's suspicion of the ensign's mis-conduct. Nicely done!
07/30/08
Your knowledge of protocols lends much authenticity to this piece even into the future setting. I am left to believe that it was a setup since she was aware of their conversation and by her quoting "Squeak, squeak."
07/30/08
Oooh, she was just messing with them. Looks like we know who just got decoded.
Heehee! I like this. Very nicely done. I liked the opening descriptions too-made me laugh. Thanks for sharing! ^_^