Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: The Family Pet (05/15/08)
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TITLE: "Let Sleeping Dogs Lie" | Previous Challenge Entry
By Frank Salerni
05/16/08 -
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Hi, I’m Mr. Perkins and my relationships with my pets are good ones. I do, however, have a bone to pick with one of them. I was told that she was going to be the perfect pet.
Oh, please!
She is quite cuddly, but her breath is something to be expected from a great large fish! I can hardly sleep with her any longer, but let me regress.
I believe that I possess the toleration of a saint. I can put up with quite a lot of noise. Both of my pets are very noisy, (especially early in the morning when I value my last moments of a nights sleep the most,) and although “Fish Breath” is not the females real name it will do for now. I hesitate talking about my own problem animals without consulting a therapist, but the Lord knows I need one.
She didn’t always have this smelly problem. She needed to go on a special diet, and now I get to reap the benefit of long hours of loud snoring, her restlessness, her frequents trips to relieve herself, the awful sound of her passing gas, and of course, her squid mouth.
This is not the relationship I had desired in the years of waiting to have a pet.
I’m not usually a complainer, but come on… enough is enough! If anyone has words of wisdom, believe me, I am all-ears! I was about to consult a book on “How To Live With Your Pet,” but unfortunately, it is published in a language that is foreign to me. (I am new to this country)
Not only does this animal have all the uncouth behavior listed above, but also at night, when I sleep, I often have to awake next to a big puddle. At first you can imagine what I thought, but be as relieved as I am to discover it is only drool.
HELP PLEASE!
I am truly befuddled by this problem.
Oh yeah, her name is Margaret, and get this… she claims to be my owner. At least that is what it says on my tags. (How humiliating for a dog of my breeding.)
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