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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Confident (07/05/07)
Ann sat at the table in a pool of tears. Strewn in front of her red rimmed eyes were stacks of unpaid bills and late notices; paper reminders that all was not well in her world. She had finally disconnected her telephone to silence the collectors from ringing at all hours looking for payment. Truth be told, the phone company had beat her to the punch. Her rent was three months in arrears and her car was about to be” re-poed.” She owed the electric company, the gas company, the cable company; who didn't she owe? Ann had finally swallowed some of her pride and went to the welfare office for assistance. She felt guilty using the food stamps. There were people worse off than herself who needed this means to satisfy daily sustenance. It wasn't that she didn't have a decent paying job. She was just bad with her money; always making the same poor choices time after time. She convinced herself that it was always somebody else's fault that she was in this horrible financial predicament. The bank, the economy, her ex-husband, her dead father, the rest of her relatives, her friends, they were the ones to blame for her hand-to-mouth existence.

She poured herself another cup of coffee and stared bleakly out the kitchen window. Bright sunshine blazed in the blue, blue sky. All was green and growing, full of life and fruitfulness. Her neighbors' flowers were vibrant splashes of color and was that a hummingbird sipping from the red trumpets of the bee balm? She found no joy in God's creation. She did not see His hand or His provision at work in her front lawn let alone her life. Trees, grass, birds and bees were common enough elements, not miracles. She sighed as she turned away from the window and once again sat at the kitchen table. Ann pushed papers around aimlessly. Her thoughts drifted to her younger sister . Maxine was always trying to help Ann concerning her finances. Budgets, savings and sacrifice were such hateful subjects. If Maxine really wanted to help her, she should just fork over some cash and take care of all this mess.
No, she had to talk about God and fiscal responsibility. Why couldn't she understand that Ann just didn't need God?

Maxine closed her eyes in prayer. “Lord, thank You so much for loving my sister Ann. You love her even more than I do and I love her with all my heart. Jesus, thank You for dying for her and giving Your life so she might have life more abundantly. Thank you for being her Savior, her Deliverer, her Provider, her Protector. You are the answer for every situation in her life. It is so good to know that Your mercy is new this morning Lord and that You are so faithful to hear and answer my prayers. I know You want Ann to know You in a personal way. Make a way, Jesus! It hurts my heart, Lord, because I know how bad she is hurting inside. She is lost and scared and doesn't know what to do. I've tried to help in whatever way I can but it's just not good enough. You know her. You understand her. I know You are able to help her with her finances. Like that old saying,” You can give a man a fish and he will be fed for a day ,but if you teach a man to fish he will be fed for a lifetime.” Teach Ann how to fish, Lord. I can't. I know it's not my job to change her. I can't change her but Lord You can reach her in a way that I cannot. I will not walk by what I see or what I hear. That's not faith. I trust You Lord. You are faithful. You are not a man that You would lie. I bless You and thank You. I know that what You have done for me, You will do for Ann. You are not a respecter of persons. You are a wonderful and loving Father! I have the assurance of Your Word, Your promises written in crimson stain. Thank You, thank You, thank You! Thank You for saving my sister. Thank You for helping her out of this miry pit. In Jesus Name, AMEN!
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This article has been read 709 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Benjamin Graber
07/13/07
I like the beginning of this one, especially how you showed that someone caught up in personal problems can't really enjoy God's creation when they are focused on themselves.
Personally, though, I would prefer seeing the ending show how God can change a life, rather than ending with a prayer.
Keep up the good work!
Jan Ackerson
07/14/07
Good title!

You could improve the readability of this by dividing your long paragraphs into shorter, more digestable chunks.

Quite tender, and a realistic depiction of emotions.
Joanne Sher 
07/14/07
This definitely rang true. I would have liked an easier transition between the two women - had to go back and figure out who was talking. Otherwise, very nice.
joe hodson
07/15/07
You have great description here, and I like the narration. It would help if you divided up your paragraphs. Also, the prayer was good but I'd like to know more about what happnes to Ann. Good writing, though. Thanks.
Virginia Gorg
07/18/07
Good article, and rings true of many. I like the way you used 'fish' throughout. Shorter paragraphs and perhaps some dialogue (even to herself) would have helped. Overall nice.