The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/25/07
I loved this story. Etch a Sketch brings back memories! ;) I felt his jump up and 'thanks kid' was a little abrupt, but what a great object lesson! Great job!
01/28/07
This was wonderful! It wasn't predictable or preachy. What an effective way to show God working in the smallest and most humble.
01/28/07
This Writer has either been there/done that, OR has a way with words that make the Readers BELIEVE they've been there & done that. Very good; and kept the interest going until the last word. Well done...
01/31/07
I loved this story! Colorful, vivid descriptions, delightfully realistic dialogue, and a moving message!

I felt as though I were right there at that homeless shelter with the despairing and cynical narrator...though was a little startled at first to find this story taking place in a homeless shelter--my impression at the opening was of a babysitter at someone's house.

The narrative style brought this main character to life as well, in great contrast to the chirpy little girl. Felt as though I knew both characters! Great job!
02/01/07
For starters, I loved the title and the intro was cute. I enjoyed the story throughout and thought it was very realistic—until the last two paragraphs. They came together too quickly for me. But lots of great writing here, and the message was wonderful. I liked the story very much.