The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
11/23/06
Needs to have spacing between paragraphs to make it more Reader Friendly. We write for Readers...so we want them to have a comfy, easy read. Right? Thanks for sharing.
11/26/06
This is a wonderful tale, but it feels quite disjointed. I didn't really feel like it was unified, if you know what I mean. I'd also break it up into more paragraphs. You did a great job, though, of characterizing a three-year-old! I saw my daughter very vividly in this!! Keep writing!
11/28/06
I like the fact that you hold up examles of men of honor for your boy. He will catch that and imitate it, just as he does superman now. Good inspiration.
11/29/06
Interesting piece....it reads like a story that wants to break free into more. The content is great but the reader is made to feel that they are reading thoughts quickly put down onto paper...a first draft maybe? Organize with a little more structure and slow down the pace....I think this is a diamond waiting to be revealed!! Keep writing!!
11/30/06
You're setting a wonderful example for your young son. I feel sure he'll be a man of valour. These early moments will play a great part in his later life. The prayers you send to God for him will result in a shower of blessings for which you will be always thankful.