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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Melody (08/24/06)
Jeff hammered out a full, two-handed chord in D-minor on the grand piano and held it until it had faded away to silence.

"Why can't I ever win in the music festival?" he asked his teacher, Mr. Samuelson. "Or even place. I know I played my piece right, almost perfectly. I hardly missed a note. The winner missed more than I did."

Mr. Samuelson, who had been sitting behind him in the studio, got up and stood by the piano. "It is true that your technique is excellent."

"Then why do I keep losing?"

Mr. Samuelson leaned over Jeff and turned the sheet music to the start of the piece he had been working on. "Play just the melody line."

Jeff hesitated for a moment as he studied his teacher's face. "Okay." The line of single notes drifted through the room for a minute while Mr. Samuelson closed his eyes.

"That is enough. How do you characterize that melody?"

"Uh, it's kind of light, almost a dance."

"M-hm. That is not how you played it. You were heavy."

"I don't understand. What are you getting at?"

Mr. Samuelson turned and faced him. "The judges at the festival do not simply judge technical skill; they also judge artistic skill. I know you have an artistic ability, but you are afraid of it." Jeff laid his hands in his lap and looked at them. He sighed. "I know you are not certain if you believe me, and so I will show you something. Play that same melody, but deliberately play it heavy."

"But it won't sound right like that."

"Of course not. Bear with me."

"Alright." Jeff pulled his hands up and rested them on the keys. After a moment, he started, and notes scattered around the studio as if they wanted to break something.

Mr. Samuelson smiled. "Good. Now, continuing to play like that, begin to improvise." When Jeff looked up as if to protest, he held up his hand. "I am aware that your experience in improvisation is still limited. Do your best."

Jeff let out his breath. The first notes scattered themselves until a more haunting melody took over, darting here and there, afraid but defiant. Soon it was dashing itself in anger against the windows, banging at the door. At the end, it faded to a hesitant shadow of itself, scared of what it had done.

"Yes, there was artistry in that." He nodded. "You see, when you are free of the printed score, the melody that is in your heart is free to express itself. You dislike that melody, however, and so you consistently choose pieces of music with more, shall I say acceptable, melodies for the festivals. The clash of those melodies with your own is destroying your art."

"So what can I do?"

"You must deal with your heart, of course, if you wish to win at the next festival. You may either embrace your current melody or release it so that a new one can be formed. There is no other choice."

Jeff gripped the front edge of the piano bench and started to rock himself, just a bit. "Why do I have that kind of melody in my heart?"

"You would know better than I, if you were willing to admit it. But I could place a gentleman's wager that it has to do with your relationship with your father."

Jeff froze and gasped, then let his head slump forward. "Yeah, that's it alright. I had no idea it was affecting my music like this." He lifted his head again, and stared at the opposite wall. "He wants me to get my music degree, go to teachers' college, and teach, just like you." His face relaxed. "I want to perform."

"Do you truly believe that?"

Jeff sat, still staring at the wall, then started to play another musical line on the keyboard. It wandered around the room for a while, then sat for a few measures. It then got angry, just like before. It got scared again too, but soon resolved itself into a major key and came to a stop. "Yes, I do. I can't let my fear of him hold me back any more."

"I look forward with interest to hearing what your new melody will be like."
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This article has been read 1097 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Christine Dunn
09/01/06
This was very well written, and enjoyable to read. The dialogue between both characters was good.
Lynda Schultz 
09/02/06
Thank you for this piece. There was certainly a message in it for me. I was especially impacted by this line: "You dislike that melody, however, and so you consistently choose pieces of music with more, shall I say acceptable, melodies for the festivals. The clash of those melodies with your own is destroying your art." How very true!
geoff anderson
09/04/06
Very good in every way. Good dialogue, good build-up of tension as the teacher cajoles the truth out of the student, leading to the climactic revelation about his relationship with his father. A clash of dreams for the boy's future would surely affect his playing, and I liked the way this was explored using the playing of melody lines, to reveal the clash of dreams or 'melodies'. And especially how the melodies were personified, with them feeling anger and fear, etc.

Altogether a clever piece of writing, and I mean that as a compliment!

Geoff Anderson
Allison Egley 
09/05/06
Isn't it amazing how our moods and attitudes can affect everything else in our lives? I liked this reminder of that fact, and the reminder of how everything is connected.
Jan Ackerson
09/06/06
I love the way that you frequently personified your melody, having it move about the room with varying emotions. Quite effective.
Joanne Sher 
09/06/06
This piece gave me MUCH to think about! What wise words in here - and a wonderfully told story as well! I definitely enjoyed this one!
david grant
09/07/06
There are lessons for writing in this story too. What is holding us all back from dancing our words across the page and the heart of our readers. A DAVEY for you!
Sharlyn Guthrie
09/09/06
Wow! I'm glad that I read this. I had missed it before. What a super message, and I agree that it applies to writing as well. I like the way you describe the music as movement and emotion.
Marilyn Schnepp 
09/09/06
I'm here because of your Davey! Thanks for cluing me in. Great write and interesting read. Very creative, well written and Davey well deserved. Kudos.