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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Pierce (06/05/25)
It was an earth-fracturing moment in time, one that she would never forget. She stood there, silent in her anguish, as her first born son suffered the brutal torture of the Roman cross.

The harsh voices of the crowd were still baying for his humiliation while the air was full of tension and hostility, emanating from Jews and Romans alike.

Her sorrow was unique. She was the mother of the son of God and she had known for years that this was to be his birthright. His purpose had been sealed long before he was born. This knowledge in no way diminished her agony as she stood by and watched his journey towards death.

He hung above her with his course, calloused hands and feet nailed to rough-hewn planks of wood. Her beloved child was dying in front of her and there was nothing she could do to ease his suffering.

Crimson globules escaped the thorns’ sharp talons, intermingling with the droplets of sweat that trickled into his eyes. She had an urge to wipe his brow, like she had when he was young, but all she could do was cry as he tried to blink the harsh stinging away.

The last of his strength was waning. He was fading fast… But wait; a few seconds of bitter-sweet joy as he lifted his head and spoke to her to make sure she was going to be looked after. His devotion to her was evident even as he walked the valley of death.

He was thirsty. They offered him a sponge, soaked in wine-vinegar on the end of a hyssop plant. He drank it and cried out ‘It is finished,’ as he took his last breath. It was over. Mary fell to the floor and wept as a blend of relief and grief overwhelmed her mind.

Through her tears she could see the soldiers breaking the legs of two other men who were being crucified, in order to hasten their deaths. When they realised that Jesus was already dead they thrust a spear into his side, just for good measure. The disrespect had no bounds. The wound went deep, bringing forth a rivulet of blood and water.

This final act of violence ripped Mary’s heart wide open. She watched as his precious blood ran down his body and dripped onto the ground. Drip. Drip. Drip.

Mary had been waiting for this day in fear and trepidation. The wise old man had pre-warned her over three decades ago. Maybe he had been trying to prepare her but nothing could have prepared any mother for this.

Simeon had met their family in the Temple courts in Jerusalem. He had been waiting all his life to have a glimpse of the promised Messiah. He appeared ancient to Mary; grey, wizened and bent but when he held her baby in his arms his eyes sparkled and lit-up with a new-found light.

Simeon knew that he had at long last encountered the Saviour; God’s plan had been revealed to him and he was at peace. But before he left he had one more thing to impart. He had a personal word for Mary; he prophesied that her son would be a source of both joy and suffering, and that a sword would pierce Mary’s soul.

And today his words had been fulfilled.

Jesus’ blood had been shed for the joy of all mankind and yet Mary’s soul felt as if it had been struck hard by the bitter blade that the soldier had so cruelly drawn on her son.

Her heart was so full of love and pride for her boy and so full of awe for the sacrifice he had made; for the unconditional love offered to all.

And yes, her joy in her Lord was as profound as her pain in losing him.

He was her child and she would treasure the memories of their life together but she had to let him go.

He had always been consecrated to God.

And despite her trauma and sadness, she knew deep in her heart that the earth-fracturing moment in time, that she had just witnessed, was one that the world would always remember.

John 19: 25-37
Luke 2:25-35.
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This article has been read 291 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
06/18/25
I think you did an excellent job of telling this story. You pulled me in right away. My only advice would to smooth the transition to what Simeon said. It felt a bit sudden to me. But you were spot on topic and you have a clear message. You make the reader stop and think, which is always a good thing.
If you'd like more feedback on your entry, go to FW group on Facebook or the forums and leave a hint about your title.
Bea Edwards 
06/19/25
Thank you for sharing this realistic yet somehow lovely dramatization.

It is such a beautifully written account from the perspective of Mary's pierced heart.

And congratulations on placing 1st in your level and making it to the EC.
Toni Babcock 
07/02/25
Wonderful and descriptive narrative - expressing the sorrow of Mary so excellently.