Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: MOURNING / MORNING (02/02/23)
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TITLE: Agatha's Compassion | Previous Challenge Entry
By Gloria Pierre Dean
02/08/23 -
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“The Queen was dead!”
Beautiful, affable, hardworking Agatha!
She had cared about her people, mingled with them frequently and everyone knew her. Her morning itinerary usually included walks in the palace grounds among the beautifully fragrant butterfly garden and the rose garden; in plain sight of the village across the field.
Now she was gone, and the King was alone on the throne.
He missed her, not only as his wife, but as his soul mate, best friend and prayer partner. Her name meant 'good woman'. She was a good comassionate women.
King Caleb still went for his early morning walks but he insisted on a security guard to accompany him.
At times, it was the vicar who went with him and they prayer-walked.
Recently, he realised that he had enemies.
On one occasion, a guard saw a reflection of the sun on metal shining across in the field.
“Down your Majesty!” he yelled.
Quite accurately there was a shooter. Bullets were heard but no one was hurt.
The lovely morning walks with the blue skies, white clouds,chirping birds and soft grass underfoot may well have to be halted, he thought.
He would miss that. Even the cattle and sheep on the village farms were friendly, in his opinion.
He knew that the reason behind the attack was the fact that some of the people were in dire straits. He had met with Parliament recently to discuss ways to provide for those in need.
His Agatha had a beautiful soul and had compassion for the poor.Even as he mourned her loss, he knew that he should take concrete steps in her memory.
His idea was to create change by increasing the tax that richer people like him paid and to use the funds. Thus he would be using his time of mourning for good.
After praying, he sat and wrote an extensive edict. He called it a Manifesto. Three main areas would include;
*{1}The rich would pay higher tax, including himself.
*{2}He set up acommitte of honest respectable citizens to manage the funds, audit the less rich and allocate funds to do the following:
*{3}The nation would provide free education, cheaper food markets, lower the poorer peoples’ rents and reopen the church for services.
He would call the project Agatha’s Compassion.
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‘Only, they asked us to remember the poor, the very thing I was eager to do’.{Galatians 2:10}
‘Jesus said to him, “If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” {Matthew 19:21}.
“You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” {Matthew 22: 39}.
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Also, giving more space between dialogue and paragraphs makes it easier to read.
You have a talent for writing --keep at it!
Instead of opening with, Overcome by grief and the shock, I would have probably put Overcome by grief and shock.
I use spell checker on my stories because it helps because a few misspelled words such as committee that would have been caught.
I can feel all of the emotion you put in your piece.
God Bless~