Soul Wounds Are Deep | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: Soul Wounds Are Deep | Previous Challenge Entry
By Janice S Ramkissoon
03/11/21
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Soul wounds are deep. They need time to heal! Nevertheless, it is what we do with the time that helps to facilitate the healing. I haven't found the places of fellowship I've been part of proactive in helping to facilitate such healing. I've met beautiful souls in each church group I've been part of but whenever there is conflict, people tend to run and hide.

My experience of church hurt is that neither side knows what to do when there is conflict. Not knowing how to work through conflict, people often leave the church or they stay and put up their guards so that no one can get close enough to hurt them again. Unfortunately, such a guard often transforms into our very own prison. Afraid to let others in we inadvertently exclude instead of embrace others.

Wounds cannot be healed by simply talking to people who have no understanding of the areas of deep hurt that one has experienced. Empathy is a necessary ingredient. Conflict is inevitable but being part of a fellowship where there is nothing to foster relationships within teams or within the church as a whole, I have not seen conflict being resolved. Eventually, I was drawn into an ongoing battle where the other parties chose to avoid dealing with the situation. I later realised that the conflict could not be resolved because I was trying to apply Biblical principles in bringing about resolution while the other party was using worldly principles. With no resolution, relationships were being damaged and the pain intensified.

I became exhausted from seeing church folks argue, then avoid each other or leave the team or the church, so I asked God to use me to be an instrument of peace. I’m a wounded soldier still needing to be ministered to but not receiving such ministry, I’ve been operating on limited insight. More recent attacks were added to unhealed wounds. Hibernating seems fitting this time. I am finding it really difficult to ‘rise and shine’ so for now, I'll simply sit at Jesus' feet, like Mary did and learn all I can to be free so I can be used as an instrument of peace and He will get the glory.

Healing, for me, is currently coming through a sermon series that my family and I have watched (and currently re-watching) titled 'Forgiveness University' by Pastor Mike Todd and various other resources online. Through that series, my family and I have learned more about ourselves and those connected to us. It is the very thing I've been waiting to receive for the past 20 years regarding church hurt and parental neglect.

The first thing the pastor said was, "The church tells you to forgive but doesn't teach you how to." That made me realise why so many in the church go around with malice and believing that they have forgiven when really and truly they have simply bought into society's 'cancel culture'. I knew that was the teaching I needed if I was going to do a better job than the past generation of teachers, in helping my son and those young minds connected to me move forward when they get hurt by leaders in their life (including their parents).

My dear brothers and sisters, “Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:3). Let us educate ourselves on being Biblical in our responses to each other so that what we say will be edifying to the hearers. Let no unwholesome words proceed from our mouths and put away all falsehood, speaking the truth to each other in a loving and caring way. Meet repentance with forgiveness and let the light of Christ shine in and through us (See Ephesians 4:17-32).

Whatever may make us frustrated with each other or feel anger towards each other, may we always remember that the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10). He does that by attacking our minds, then we pick up offenses because we're not looking through the right lens. Our reactions then cause division among us and we fight with each other, job done! As long as we are busy fighting with each other, we will eventually destroy the work that we were meant to add value to.

Next time we are in a situation that looks like it will end up in a conflict, may we remember to make every effort to keep the peace.

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