Who really knows you? | Previous Challenge Entry

how it works

TITLE: Who really knows you? | Previous Challenge Entry
By Judy Ewald
11/09/17
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I was sitting at the YWCA counselors office explaining why I was depressed and struggling. I had been married for 9 years and was not feeling loved or accepted for who I was.

Bottom line I said,”I want an intimate relationship with my husband John. Not just a physical one but I want to be free to express my feelings good or bad. To be able to share my needs and concerns without being judged, put down, or ignored. I was hoping that we could be good friends like we were prior to being married.”

The young lady counselor said,”Judy, that would be nice most people would like that. But you need to be happy for what you have. He has a good job, does not beat you, or is having an affair.” That did not solve my problem, a few years later we were divorced.

I have always thought it was great when someone said they had a best friend for a life time. Through out my life I have lived in many places. My sister Martha was my friend growing up even though we were three years apart. Especially in high school going to games and sock hops. We lived in the country far from school at the time. It was hard to get together with other kids. But I was of the 50’s generation and she was of the 60’s, over time our values grew in different ways. She became very liberal and I more conservative, especially when I became a Christian.

I am friendly and meet people easily. I have had many acquaintances through out my life. To really get to know another person it takes time, effort and many life experiences together. I have had friends for a season. We became close when we had a common interest. Then we have busy lives these days, but we do try to stay in contact.

Over the years I have thought about that lady and what she said “I should be happy with what I had.” I felt like there had to be more than surviving and getting by in life.

I accepted Jesus as my savior during a trying time in my life. I am so grateful He was patient to get through my heart of stone and unbelief. He gave me a new heart of flesh and the ability to accept His love and salvation. I began to grow in my faith and relationship with Him. I saw God as the Great Creator, The Mighty King of kings and Lord of lords. His Word said I was to fear, (respect), worship and seek Him with my whole heart. I could not fathom that this great God could really love and care for me, but I trusted His Word. I trust the Lord with all my heart, and lean not on my own understanding and in all my ways I acknowledge Him and He directs my paths. His ways are not our ways.

There is no one on this earth that I could have that intimate relationship I so desired, only with Jesus. He knows all about me, my mistakes, messes, faults, and sins. He gave my personality, my gifts and desires. He knows me better than I know myself.

Only though His Holy Spirit has He given me the ability to love God completely, love me correctly, and love others compassionately. I can go to the throne room of grace any time of need which is all the time, because He is my Lord of all and my friend.

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