Is That Good Enough | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: Is That Good Enough | Previous Challenge Entry
By Joy Bach
07/25/16
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Each day seemed the same. My goal was just to survive. I'd tried praying, but wasn't sure anyone was listening. At the age of 30, with three children to feed and clothe, I was still doing what my mother told me.

"What did you do to make him leave? You just have to wait until he comes back."

How many years? I had already waited two with no signs of his return. The only job I could find was being an Avon lady. Possessing no people skills, that certainly wasn't working well. We had become one of those families on Welfare. I lived in shame.

One day my doorbell rang. I had no friends, so reluctantly opened the door. Imagine my surprise to see my brother standing there. He lived 500 miles away. Since he had married and moved away when I was four, I had no relationship with him.

"Gene, what are you doing here?"

My insides clinched at his words.

"I've got some things to say to you and I want to see the whites of your eyes while I say them."

Ignoring my offer to come in, he sat down on the front porch glider. I sat on the other end, as far away from him as I could get. He seemed angry. What had I ever done to him?

Then the grilling began. Question after question about my life, the way I was living it. Tears ran down my cheeks. He was relentless.

"I don't know what you want."

"When I hear what I came for I'll leave."

As the hours passed, I began to see a pattern in my answers.

"The church said so."
"Mother said so."
"What would people think?"

That was the creed I lived by. It was all I had ever known.

Then came a surprise question.

"Is that good enough?"

No one had ever asked me what I thought of my life. I didn't even know I had a right to an opinion. Terrified that God would strike me dead, I stuttered out my answer.

"No, I don't think so."

"What can you do about it?"

Thinking for myself was a totally new concept. I knew I needed to get away from this town. But could I really put my kids in a car and drive somewhere to start over?

His questions softened. My tears lessened. For the first time I began to have hope that our future could be different.

Understanding that I was now in a different frame of mind than when he arrived, he stood up.

"Where are you going?"

"Home. I got what I came for."

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