Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: SWEET HOUR OF PRAYER (don’t write about the song) (04/30/15)
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TITLE: Always My Little Bro | Previous Challenge Entry
By Sandra Wells
05/06/15 -
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Or, can our time of prayer be a time of desperation, sorrow, and yes, anger? Do we shake our fists, scream in anger, sob through grief, question God’s will and timing; all the while thanking Him for allowing us to vent our deepest, darkest feelings, and loving us still.
Our time of prayer is not always sweet. There are times; such as I am enduring, when our prayers are raw, passionate, angry, primal and desperate. Times when we may feel as if our hearts have been crushed, and putting one foot in front of the other requires strength we don’t posses. Times when memories bring tears, and being alone cause us to feel as if we’re suffocating. This time of prayer is reserved for times of loss, grief and sorrow: Such as, the death of a brother.
My world, and the world of my sister and our entire family imploded a few days ago. Our brother, the gentle giant, wounded eagle, humble maker of peace, teller of tales, man of faith; my personal hero and six foot something, fifty seven year old—Little Bro, died. He was my little Bro and I was his Sis; our birthdays were meant for eating cake, and our love was never questioned. We were all going to grow older together telling stories of our youth, and laughing at our aches and pains. We were supposed to watch our grandchildren grow up, and celebrate all the milestones together as a family. We were supposed to…but we didn’t, we can’t. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this, yet it did. Dan went Home before we expected, before we wanted; and we are left to grieve.
These past few days my prayers have not been sweet, but rather stripped to the bone raw. God has heard my silent and not so silent screams; my gut wrenching sobs, my lashing anger, my desperate desires…my suffocating grief. My family and I had been preparing ourselves for the time when we would lose our aged father, just as we lost our mother a few years ago. But, no one prepared us, nor taught us, how to say good-bye to our little brother. We have to learn this one day, one minute, and one agonizing breath at a time: The journey is painful, tear filled, and prayerful.
This past week, today included, has been bitter sweet. More bitter than sweet. On the one hand I can rest in the assurance that my little bro is in Heaven with Jesus and our mother and other loved ones. What could be more glorious than to be in the presence of Jesus? To see His face, hear His voice, and marvel in His embrace. As the song says, “I can only imagine.” But, while I give thanks for where my brother is, I also grieve his absence in our lives. One day, I’m sure, I will think of my brother with a smile. I will grow comfortable, if that’s the word, with his absence, knowing that I will see him again. One day the sweet will outweigh the bitter. Today however is not that day.
This past week my prayer time has been raw, primal and bitter sweet. I am eternally grateful that we have a God who loves us so much that He hears our cries, and feels our every tear. I am eternally grateful that my brother stepped from this world and into Jesus’ arms. I am thankful that I will one day see my little bro again, and until that day I will continue to pray. Some will be sweet; others may be bitter. All will be heartfelt. Thank you Jesus for your love.
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I’m not expecting my article to rank high, and that’s fine. I needed to be able to put my feelings into words, and writing this piece helped. I said good-bye to my little bro today, and finishing this piece is helping, even though I’m typing through tears. God bless you all.
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Your pain is palpable in your story, I pray peace and comfort as you mourn.
And, you will see him again...hold that thought no matter the pain, hold that thought, it's always helped me.
God bless you~
You wrote so vividly about your pain and grief that your article reminds us as readers that it is truly "sweet" that we can go to God even in our anger, and frustration.
Your writing was able to convey God's sweetness to care for you even in your sorrow: God's sweetness to comfort you in your grief.
You wrote even in your grief well enough to cause the reader to sympathize with your pain.
It's a sign of a great writer to be able to move the reader to emote as they read. So whether you place or not...you win! Great job!
I will use part of my sweet hour of prayer to pray to the God of all comfort on behalf of you and your family.