Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Light at the End of the Tunnel (01/23/14)
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TITLE: The Wild Goose Chase | Previous Challenge Entry
By Ann Menschel
01/30/14 -
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Several clicks, a muffled whir, and a rush of air from the floor vent beside the bed roused me from my light sleep. A feeble groan escaped my lips. The furnace was running again. But then it was December in northern Wyoming. The dead of winter. Thankfulness for a warm home was overshadowed by the vision of dollar bills disappearing as propane fed the greedy appetite of the furnace. The knot in my stomach that had relaxed as I slept coiled anew - as if a thousand strands of worry, fear and uncertainty clung together in misery, chanting sadly, "A wild goose chase, truly, a wild goose chase".
My hand searched the spot where Larry should have been laying. Remembering the buzz of the alarm, the closet light briefly glowing, and the bedroom door quietly shutting, I realized he was on his way to work. I pulled the heavy Sherpa blanket over my ears and closed my eyes, willing sleep to return to delay the dawning of another day. But it was too late. The recording that had played over and over during the last two months was firmly set on the turntable of my mind. The haunting chorus of discouragement filled the stillness of the morning.
Realizing sleep had escaped, I threw back the covers and climbed out of bed. Turning on the overhead light, my eyes were drawn to the cluster of notes - various colors, sizes and shapes - stuck on the dresser mirror. "Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength" read one of the notes. The words of Charles Spurgeon reminded me of my on-going battle between faith and anxiety.
After two long months in our new location, the confidence and strength with which I left family, friends and security had greatly diminished. I never imagined our prayerful pursuit of the Wild Goose would cause this degree of anxiety. Maybe the Celts intended a play on words when they called the Holy Spirit the Wild Goose. That day it felt like it was indeed a wild goose chase.
I reviewed our circumstances. The son we had followed was now heading away on his own adventures. Though making new friends, the distance from family and old friends grew wider each day. Larry's entry level wages helped, but our reserve of money was dwindling. And I had yet to find a job. Yes, I felt empty of strength.
A shower, an earnest quiet time with the Lord, and a meager breakfast were followed by the busy work of removing wallpaper from the kitchen walls - one small patch at a time as it had been glued on to stay for eternity. The gaudy red, white and blue checked paper clashed miserably with the equally gaudy green, blue and red carpet. One of them needed to go.
As I alternated squirts of water with attacks by the scraper, the advice penned on another sticky note came to mind. This time Andrew Murray reminded me that "I am here by God's appointment, in His keeping, under His training, for His time." But the days were so long. The homesickness so acute. The waiting so interminable. And this task so unbearably tedious.
My cell phone rang. Climbing quickly off the ladder, I picked up the phone, expecting to see Larry's number displayed. Instead it was an unknown local number. My heart beat a little faster. "Hello," I answered with the most cheerful inflection I could muster.
"Hi," an equally cheerful voice responded. "Is this Ann?"
"Yes, it is."
"Ann, this is Judy. I got your application today."
But I only mailed it yesterday, I thought.
" . . . and I was wondering if you could come in for an informal interview?"
"Of course."
"I'm so excited," Judy continued. "You have the qualifications and experience we are wanting for this opening. You're a perfect fit for what we need. Can you come today at two?"
As I did a final check in the mirror before heading out for my interview, one more note caught my eye. "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." (I Peter 5:6 & 7)
Yes, this experience was indeed a Wild Goose chase . . . and I will continue to run after Him.
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