Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Sizzle (05/02/13)
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TITLE: Trapped | Previous Challenge Entry
By Larry Elliott
05/09/13 -
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He pulled a long drag filling his lungs with menthol flavored water vapor. He was down to the ten milligram nicotine cartridges- one more level and then no nicotine at all. He took another puff. The tip appeared to glow pale orange in the failing light of early dusk, but without the faint crackling that used to accompany the smoldering bits of leaves and paper. One would think with today’s technology they could add the crackling sound. All-in-all this electronic cigarette thing seemed to be working. He must admit, once again, his wife was right.
He hated that.
Nate wondered if he should call her, then decided not to.
Just then he heard a short electrical buzzing sound then one faint little pop.
Then he noticed the bug zapper hanging above a blue door and hundreds of tiny bug lives cut short, lured by the blue-white glow of a visual siren song.
Zzzzt pop.
There goes another one.
Stupid insects, he thought. Too bad they did not possess the mental capacity to understand the dangers and futile ambition of searching for their perception of paradise.
Zzzt pop.
He shook his head in mocked pity for the poor creatures.
He wondered if they had a choice, even a prayer of a chance, to resist the luminescent temptation.
Just then Nate heard a similar electrical buzz as a huge blue neon martini glass containing the red neon outline of an adult female flickered to life atop the gentleman’s club.
Zzzt pop.
So long suckers.
A good jolt of electricity surprised him as he reached for the door. It must be static electricity enhanced by the dry summer air.
Zzzt pop.
A small dragon fly at last made his way to his final destination. A small puff of smoke rose from its body. The tiny wings went still.
He opened the door and smoke wafted out. He wondered how he would explain the smell on his clothes when he made it home.
Colored lights flashed from inside.
Zzzzt pop.
He looked up at the fly trap, but the throbbing music grabbed his ears with sharp misshapen talons jerking his head back around.
His phone vibrated silently in his pocket. He ignored it.
Zzzzt pop.
He stepped inside and the door slammed shut behind him.
Zzzzzzzzt pop.
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My entry is Green Eyes Aren't Always Pretty. Tell me what you think if you have the time. I'm in Intermediate and I want to move up.
Congratulations on your win.
I have not written in years because of several family tragedies and almost did not enter. I am glad I did. I miss writing.