The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/14/12
I wonder how many of your readers will know where Lake Pymatuning is?? Been there! It was close to my grandfather's family farm.

If you change your verbs from passive to active this story would be absolutely perfect!

Great story. Loved it!!
Great story! Liked the title and the thought of the "frgrance of God's love." One suggestion to eliminate some extra words in the sentence "Cramming the book I was reading firmly in a nook..." could be written "Cramming my book into the nook..." We already knew you were reading and if you crammed it it was done firmly! Just a thought.
09/14/12
Great job with this well written and elaborately descriptive entry. I enjoyed it from beginning to end. Thanks.

God bless~
09/14/12
A beautiful piece. I agree with the suggestions others have made. The last line is perfect.
09/15/12
I enjoyed your story. I thought there was a slight disconnect between the first and the second paragraph. Maybe leaving teh last sentence off the first paragraph would have helped. (just my opinion). But, a lovely true story.
Congratulations for placing 8th in level 3!